Little Miss Independent

I have mentioned how this training is helping to rapidly release ideas, beliefs, and concepts that people have had for a long time, by opening up the body and bringing it back -as near as possible- to its original state.

For a long time I have believed that it isn't good to be so independent. What I am finding out is this isn't necessarily my belief. I accepted this "suggestion" as it has was placed in my head by people I wanted to please, maybe by people that I have admired, or possibly by the media (heck, maybe all of the above!)... at any rate, what I am finding out is, it is good to be and to express my independence.

Independence is a useful gift and ultimately we all have everything we need right inside of ourselves, to sustain us, comfort us, bring us joy, and calm the storms when they come up.

This doesn't mean I think we should all be alone, other people are also gifts and each relationship has a special purpose. However, I do believe each person is on their own personal journey. Fortunately for us, people continually walk along the same paths, sometimes for years at a time and sometimes only for a minute...I believe we help each other to find the strength within ourselves to express who we are.

Relationships are wonderful, exciting and special gifts; but each one is temporary. Knowing this gives me the freedom to be myself and to love other people for who they are. Respecting that each one of us has to travel our own individual road; to FREEDOM.

Peeling Back the Layers

This week we had a lecture from Jon Burras (Certified Yoga Teacher, Certified Yoga Therapist, Certified Bodyworker, Certified Body/mind Therapist, Certified Wellness Consultant).

He spoke to us about the connection between connective tissue (fascia) and emotion. This was very interesting to me as a fellow bodyworker...

The idea is, each specific physical and emotional "incident" is stored in the connective tissue throughout the body. For example, if as a child you fell off your bike and twisted your ankle; in addition to the physical changes in the connective tissue of the ankle, the emotion around the event will be stored in the body as well.

Lets say you were told to "toughen up, and stop crying" when this happened and you learned to stuff your emotions and distrust that you would be supported in the future if you cried when something painful happened to you. You file that experience away as "information" in your body and mind. Then years later, when you are on a massage table, and the massage therapist is working on your "problem" ankle, you start to cry but don't know why...

It is because, each little incident stores in the body, collects and weights us down. This causes us to age prematurely.

So the massage releases the connective tissue as well as the emotion. Yoga does this as well. Yoga stretches and releases the connective tissue -especially when you do it twice a day in a very hot room!

I have experienced this first hand on a regular basis during this training and to a lesser degree on the massage table...what a powerful combination. I've seen eighty year old yogis come in to teach us that look 30 years younger than they are. I believe this is because they are releasing -on a regular basis-all of the "stuff" that weights them down and ages them.

Personally, I feel lighter and younger than I have felt in quite a while. I feel like I am peeling back the layers (of connective tissue!) and releasing the weights that were slowly trying to kill me.

http://www.jonburras.com/

"Calm the Wind and the Storm Ceases."

I have been learning a lot about breath and breathing here. Truth be told, I have been hearing a lot about it since I started yoga, but it seems as though I am finally listening.

My teachers at home would say "there is nothing to do but breathe", "let the body open up with the breathe" or "go deeper with each breath", and I would hear them and think what they were saying "sounded good", but that was about as far as I got.

I am finally learning exactly what the breath can do for our bodies. First of all, we cannot live with out it. It is the most important thing to us for sustaining life. Yes, even more important than water. If we aren't breathing then we certainly aren't drinking anything! Secondly, we can control our physiological responses with our breath...we can slow our heart rates down or speed them up simply by taking long deep breaths or fast quick breaths (try it and see what happens).

This is a very important technique to learn in our fast paced, high stress societies. We can give our over stressed hearts and lungs a much needed break and prevent diseases just by training our minds/bodies to breathe deep in a stressful situation.

The fast track to learning this technique is, of coarse, yoga; and Bikram yoga specifically. Put yourself in a heated room for 90 minutes doing intense Hatha yoga and try to breath slow and deep (normally) the whole time, do this on a consistent basis. Then, when you are in traffic, not moving, and need to be somewhere in 5 minutes...you will be able to roll with it. You (and your body) will automatically realize; there is nothing to do but breathe".

Get Over Yourself and Get into IT!

So I have decided the "theme" of my training experience here is "Get Over Yourself". I didn't realize just how many patterns/habits I have that keep me stuck and limit my experiences until I got got here and started to actually try to teach this yoga.

I work in a service industry, I am involved in a service group, and now I am learning to teach (really teach) others. It seems as though it's all about acceptance, being open, and able to go with the flow.

When I accept what is happening as a personal choice, stay open to God, the Universe, the Cosmos...etc, to deliver the answers and strength, and just do the next thing that comes up with a willing heart and strong determination, things change.

The most important thing I can do in this process is stay out of my own way, get over myself and GET INTO IT! Who cares if I am not perfect (I suspect no one will be surprised!) and who cares if I "make a fool out of myself"...it adds character. And if someone -god forbid- doesn't like me, well then I think they are probably not the first and will not be the last. Maybe I can at least be a good reflection for them.

So my new mantra for now is: GET OVER YOURSELF AND GET INTO IT!

Break Down to Break Through

This week has been all about breaking out of my limiting beliefs and re-enforcing new behavior patterns...

It started on Monday when I got to my morning class. I went to stretch up in Half Moon pose and realized that my body was killing me. I hadn't really done anything on Sunday and I was hoping that would help my body to recover but that was NOT the case.

Anyway, I started freaking out a little...telling myself that this was crazy, that they might not know what they are doing here, I can't do this and maybe I should just go home. All I wanted to do was go home.

Well those thoughts opened up the flood gates for more tears to come, and this time they didn't stop. I cried pretty much throughout the day. It was the strangest thing, sitting and listening to my lectures and participating in our clinics while tears streamed down my face. I just let them come quietly and tried not to create any drama for anyone else. At times I had to go to the bathroom and sob uncontrollably only to return to class ready to listen and participate once again.

Although it was a very tough day, I realized some important things about myself and about human nature. We all have patterns in our life that we re-enforce on a daily basis and when we are forced outside of our patterns and beyond what we feel we are capable of doing, fear sets in. Fortunately I now know, if I just keep going straight through the fear, the gift on the other side is amazing. It's self-realization.

I didn't quit. I didn't go home. I pushed through and did what I didn't think I could do. I didn't give the negativity enough power to stop me and I didn't stuff it either. I did my best not to judge how I was feeling and just let it pass through me. This was an uncomfortable process and I didn't enjoy it when it was happening. But I have to say it was completely worth it and I have a feeling this is only the tip of the iceberg.

The Yoga

Ok so, I am in the middle of my third week here at Bikram's Yoga Teacher Training and I have finally stopped crying in class! It's not like I was balling uncontrollably or anything but a few tears were coming out every class up until Monday. I had a terrible cold last week -as a told you before- and now am feeling much better. My practice is getting stronger and stronger with every class and I am getting more and more sore with every class!

During my class last night, at the end, in final Savasana, I had a rainbow of color wash over my closed eyes...bright green, orange, purple and red. I don't know what it means...some say it the opening of Chakras (energy centers)...it may very well be. I feel more open and grounded than I have ever felt in my life. As it is with all feelings, this one will eventually pass I am sure, so I am going to try to stay aware of it and grateful for it as long as possible!