Happiness is within.
Yep, that's it. I know....it may not hit some of you with any force... So I will complicate it a little in order to explain my situation and maybe inspire anyone who is actually reading this.
I am sure you have already heard this, I had heard something like it for sometime... "Look inside yourself to find true happiness" or some version of that, but what I didn't realize is that I was so caught up in what my "idea" of happiness was that I couldn't really listen.
I fully and completely believed that I knew what I needed to have in my life for me to be happy and complete. Let that sink in a minute...
Now the trouble with thinking you absolutely know something, is that something else inevitably happens to teach us that we don't absolutely know anything. This is so true for me because not too long ago I achieved all the things I knew would make me happy. I had all of the components of my happy life in place and things were going great. Of coarse there where still things to achieve but I was right on target and well on my way to the summit where I could sit down, relax and enjoy the view for the rest of my life...
Writing this down and looking at the enormity of my naivety is pretty humbling, but its the truth regardless. I felt that way. I was holding on so tightly to an idea that when I began sliding back down the mountain I was completely unprepared to deal with it. I just kept slipping and slipping and when I hit the bottom... I found a crevasse and fell even deeper still.
I stayed in the dark for a while, groping around frantically, trying to figure out how I could start all over again (toward the same ideal!). I would start to climb and then fall, climb and fall, over and over until I completely gave up, sat down devastated and resolved that this was IT.
In my mind, there was no help coming and the mountain seemed to big to try to do it all over again. I also had in my mind, that even if I did get back to the top, there were no guarantees anymore. I mean, I was there, and I lost it! That wasn't in the "plan to Gabi's happy life"...
After sometime -and through a series of serendipitous events- a realization gradually came over me...there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that will make me happy. To be happy all I need to do is think and act on the things that I find happiness in, and I need to do that NOW, regardless of circumstance.
Again, so simple. Almost too simple.
What I realized is there can be no more "in order to" or "when I get this I will have that". No more cause and effect. I already have it. It is here and now in everything I do. Happiness truly is in the journey.
I feel as though I am on new legs wobbling around with this new found hope, inspiration and gratitude...all there is to do now practice and remember.
2 comments:
hope to find you are discovering happiness deeper into the moment at this time...
I am always uplifted by your thoughts...even if it is about particular struggles, it's still humbling, yet inspirational, to hear of your noble ventures! : )
it fills me back with glee and abundant joy...sometimes I forget, well as I tend to drift in and out of that still inner awareness, but your tales are reminding me of the power within me to create. I've been working more on listening, not only with others, but myself, and the higher self within, the being beyond my comprehension, but sitting so close embedded in one's very center of sight...
I'm always grateful for your input of time, attention, and presence...
You always seem to have it all together, at least the resource to do so is always in your arsenal!
even light warriors need an instrument in which to protect with and engrave the atmosphere with lacerations of its own. although our apparatus's are imbued with creation, not of destruction. We do not dismantle harmony, we rupture the clashing discords with our inflection of tone, the siren is calibrated at a frequency of bliss, and at the tip of our sabre, with one strike, we endow a resonation of elation...
We are furious creatures, passionate about our destiny of fulfillment, and we rejoice in glory, for we claim victory in every contest.
You are a bringer of hope, inspiration, ambition, yet that of calmness & tranquility, our true powers!
You reveal our abilities as alchemists to brew concoctions of vitality & stamina...
This happiness, we can tap into and let it coarse through our veins, and yet I recognize everyday so many of us, including myself, pulling the plug from nourishment...
your blog is such a blessing to me... I read it all the time, and always look forward to your posts, if only I had the time to complement your thoughts with some of my own, at least more often, hehe...
I have been feeling a lot of sadness lately, while also so much joy, I'm extracting transmuting so much energy, and coming to great understandings..
Sincere gratitude. I bask in the light you shed, just like when we listen I'm induced with sheer elation!
smiles to you friend. Your caring is beautifully transmuted into utterance..
farewell... always listening
namaste
Thanks for the company last night. It is always good to spend time with you. We need to figure out a substitute for dessert so that we can continue to hang out and talk, room in the belly is limited these days. Happiness does come from within but I have to say that music makes my mood shift - I can go good or bad. I know what songs make me depressed (if I hear that Sea of Love off the Juno soundtrack one more time I'll scream and THEN I'll cry) and I know what makes me feel better (Twist and Shout by the Beatles). I even enjoy cleaning a little bit if the right music is on. So to alter my mood and initiate happiness I do believe comes from with in. But I love good tunage. Weirdo!!! Whatever! Looking forward to seeing you next weekend - can we do breakfast before or after? Probably after? Or maybe coffee? Much love ms. Gabi,
-s
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