Approaching a New Year

As the new year approaches we are encouraged to think about ourselves. Our accomplishments, failures, goals, resolutions etc....as I thought about these things, I was lead to the following excerpt from one of my favorite books...

Enjoy it, and may everyday of the next year bring some form of joy into your life.

Prelude to a New Dream

There are thousands of agreements you have made with yourself, with your dream of life, with God, with society, with your parents, with your spouse, with your children. But the most important agreements are the ones you made with yourself. In these agreements you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how to behave. The result is what you call your personality. In these agreements you say, "This is what I am. This is what I believe. I can do certain things and some things I cannot do. This is reality; that is fantasy, this is possible, that is impossible."

One single agreement is not such a problem but we have many agreements that make us suffer, that make us fail in life. If you want to live a life of joy and fulfillment, you have to find the courage to break those agreements that are fear-based and claim your personal power. The agreements that come from fear require us to expend a lot of energy, but the agreements that come from love help us to conserve energy and even gain extra energy.

-The Four Agreements

by Don Miguel Ruiz

Moving On

What do we do when the people we love repeatedly will not respect us and consider our feelings? Do we move on? Respect and consideration are so important in a relationship and if we aren't getting either...why stay?

Having enough love for ourselves to know when we are not being treated as we would like to be treated, and having the courage to ask for what we need is not an easy task. However once the courage and willingness has been made there is a feeling of peace. Knowing that we deserve more and standing up for ourselves is empowering.

So, I believe we must honor who we are and express ourselves, if another person cannot or will not provide what we need in the relationship then we move on simply out of incompatibility.
Letting go can be very challenging and some of us cling to the idea that, somehow in the future things may be different. But it isn't good for either person if we put your lives on hold based on someone's "potential" to change. We can only change ourselves and if that is not an option then we have no other choice but to let the other go with love to live their best lives...even though it may be painful to do so.

Pause...Reflect...

In reflection of my last entry....

Is it possible that unconditional love is reserved only for children from their parents? I think this is definitely where we see the best examples of unconditional love, but I also believe it is intended as a gift for everyone.

This is where romantic love and genuine, true LOVE get confused...I am a firm believer of honoring ourselves and setting necessary boundaries in relationships with people. And when two people cannot do this in a relationship it doesn't mean they can no longer love each other. In fact, continuing to love each other but letting the other go and live their best life is the essence of unconditional love.

This I believe, is a tremendously difficult task to master and one which may take many more than our mere 100 years, to achieve.

A Little Insight into the Madness

Life seems so short to me lately. I have had big questions in my head that keep going round and round such as; "Why are we here?" "What's it all for?" "Could this really be all there is?" "How can life just continue like this; one life born, one life dies...another fast food chain opens..........?!"

No wonder people are trying to avoid their life and feelings as much as possible with alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, shopping, sex, relationships, etc...etc... I mean really, a person could literally loose their mind contemplating these questions for too long.

But what a tragedy, believing these temporary fixes are what life and living is all about...how easily we turn our heads or forget that in "reality" these things also have the power to make our lives miserable and in some cases actually kill us.

So, if these experiences are not what life is all about, WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT?

Some say love....but maybe more accurately it's unconditional love. A HUGE topic that honestly I have very little comprehension of. However, this may be the answer to inner peace and a joyful content life. What comes to mind for me when I hear unconditional love is; letting go of expectations, limitations, demands, control, knowing, judgement, all of it and accepting each and everything for the way it is in the present moment.

And then this comes to mind...Holy crap! How in the heck am I going to do that? It will take more than one lifetime to make just a start at that.

So, back to the original thought and question I go...Life seems so short to me lately and could this really be all there is to it? Keep trying, and trying, and trying and hopefully before I die I will have a closer understanding to what unconditional love is? Really?! I hope there is way more to it than that...

The Circle Complete.

Craig told us that it was very important for us to teach our first yoga class as soon as we got the opportunity. He said putting it all together and delivering it to a room full of students would complete the training circle and that is when all of the benefits from the training would start to flow out of each one of us...

Well I taught my first class last week and am happy to say it went well, even better than I thought it would. I have been embraced into the studio here in Tempe, AZ. Everyone has been very supportive and welcoming. I had the opportunity to take a class in Scottsdale, AZ as well and I have to say the Bikram Yoga community there was just as welcoming to me as a new teacher, as my home studio.

I feel as though a whole new world is opening up around me; it's a bit overwhelming, and so exciting!

If I had the opportunity, I would tell Craig "thank you"..."thank you for encouraging us to complete the circle, of my own, I may or may not have had the follow through. I am so grateful for the extra push".

Settling...

We all do it...we sell ourselves short, give up our dreams, desires, compromise who we are to suit the needs of people/institutions around us or to achieve something we think we want.

Why don't we instead, follow our gut feelings, our internal guidance, and go where we feel lead? I've found when something feels wrong, it most likely is. There are many times I can recall where something "just didn't feel right"...but I did it anyway...

Now I suggest, keeping our eyes turned internally to the what feels right. Hopefully that will lead to satisfaction and joy. Personally I am just beginning to collect experiences around this thought and so I cannot say one way or another with confidence how -or if- it works...it just feels like the right thing to do! I will keep you posted!

Our Playing Small Doesn't Serve the World.

Well it is the last day of training...I can hardly believe it! Bikram's wife Rajashree read us part of Nelson Mandela's 1994 inaugural speech during one of our final savasanas. It seems appropriate here...

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure,

it is our Light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are born to make manifest the Glory of God that is with in us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own Light shine,

We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

Finding your Voice

It seems as though there is an epidemic out there of people who have so much to say but hold it all inside themselves... I'm not talking just about verbal expression, I mean expression in their work, in their relationships, and in their basic everyday lives.
Society as a whole (at least American society) is conditioned to conform to the "norm" -whatever that is. Then there is the other extreme, the people who know they don't want to conform to the "normal" way of living and try as hard as they can to be different. Which in my opinion is simply conforming to the abnormal.

Finding our own individual voices and expressing our own individual likes and dislikes can be a challenging process, especially as the expression involves opening more of our hearts. What a gift to be able to do this... Realizing that each and everyone one of us are unique and different is what makes our relations to other people so valuable. We would never learn from each other if we all knew the same things. We cannot share our experiences, thoughts, philosophy, humor, strength, humiliations, etc...if we are all doing the same things, thinking the same things, believing the same things, and trying to achieve the same goals.

I believe its important to figure out what your own opinion of your own experience is. It may seem as though this is a given, you might say,"Of coarse I know what my opinion is!" ...but think about it, do you know? Is it yours? Or have your opinions been given to you, subtly over time?

I am not saying there aren't many out there who express who they truly are. I know some of you well and I admire and love you for it. You have been my inspiration. Thank you.

The Bikram Method

Bikram Choudhury gets a lot of crap for requesting and receiving a copyright for the 26 Hatha yoga postures and 2 breathing exercises used in his Bikram's Beginning Yoga Class. He has a copyright, not on the postures themselves -they are over 6000 years old- but the actual order and timing of the ones he has chosen to put into his class.

These postures and this order have been (and continue to be) researched. This is why he has had them copyrighted. He and his wife Rajashree with the help of doctors at UCLA, along with many others, have had ongoing research to indicate and validate the medical benefits of this method of yoga. As they continue to expand their research avenues, they in turn help many people who have been lost to western medicine ideas of "symptom management" for injuries as well as acute and chronic diseases.

I originally started doing this yoga to keep my upper body loose and to avoid chronic overuse injuries that are common in my profession. I have since learned that many others have come to Bikram yoga and found relief from a spectrum of diseases and other disabilities such as: diabetes, hyper/hypothyroidism, colitis, IBS, liver disorders, pancreatic disorders, blood diseased, cardiovascular disorders, pulmonary disorders, obesity, drug/alcohol detoxification and recovery...the list goes on and on.

I feel I am blessed to be a part of a group that is looking to help people take control of their physical bodies and their minds, in order tap into their spirit and facilitate their own healing. It is comforting to know that the stats are stacking up in favor of Bikram's method of yoga.

For the skeptics out there who think all you do in yoga is sit around and chant "OM"... I challenge you to take charge of your life and your health. Check out this specific kind of yoga; Bikram's Beginning Yoga. You will unlock the door to long life, superior physical health, renewed mental clarity and emotional freedom. And if none of those reasons motivate you to try it...I will personally guarantee that AT THE VERY LEAST, you will get a kick ass workout!

Little Miss Independent

I have mentioned how this training is helping to rapidly release ideas, beliefs, and concepts that people have had for a long time, by opening up the body and bringing it back -as near as possible- to its original state.

For a long time I have believed that it isn't good to be so independent. What I am finding out is this isn't necessarily my belief. I accepted this "suggestion" as it has was placed in my head by people I wanted to please, maybe by people that I have admired, or possibly by the media (heck, maybe all of the above!)... at any rate, what I am finding out is, it is good to be and to express my independence.

Independence is a useful gift and ultimately we all have everything we need right inside of ourselves, to sustain us, comfort us, bring us joy, and calm the storms when they come up.

This doesn't mean I think we should all be alone, other people are also gifts and each relationship has a special purpose. However, I do believe each person is on their own personal journey. Fortunately for us, people continually walk along the same paths, sometimes for years at a time and sometimes only for a minute...I believe we help each other to find the strength within ourselves to express who we are.

Relationships are wonderful, exciting and special gifts; but each one is temporary. Knowing this gives me the freedom to be myself and to love other people for who they are. Respecting that each one of us has to travel our own individual road; to FREEDOM.

Peeling Back the Layers

This week we had a lecture from Jon Burras (Certified Yoga Teacher, Certified Yoga Therapist, Certified Bodyworker, Certified Body/mind Therapist, Certified Wellness Consultant).

He spoke to us about the connection between connective tissue (fascia) and emotion. This was very interesting to me as a fellow bodyworker...

The idea is, each specific physical and emotional "incident" is stored in the connective tissue throughout the body. For example, if as a child you fell off your bike and twisted your ankle; in addition to the physical changes in the connective tissue of the ankle, the emotion around the event will be stored in the body as well.

Lets say you were told to "toughen up, and stop crying" when this happened and you learned to stuff your emotions and distrust that you would be supported in the future if you cried when something painful happened to you. You file that experience away as "information" in your body and mind. Then years later, when you are on a massage table, and the massage therapist is working on your "problem" ankle, you start to cry but don't know why...

It is because, each little incident stores in the body, collects and weights us down. This causes us to age prematurely.

So the massage releases the connective tissue as well as the emotion. Yoga does this as well. Yoga stretches and releases the connective tissue -especially when you do it twice a day in a very hot room!

I have experienced this first hand on a regular basis during this training and to a lesser degree on the massage table...what a powerful combination. I've seen eighty year old yogis come in to teach us that look 30 years younger than they are. I believe this is because they are releasing -on a regular basis-all of the "stuff" that weights them down and ages them.

Personally, I feel lighter and younger than I have felt in quite a while. I feel like I am peeling back the layers (of connective tissue!) and releasing the weights that were slowly trying to kill me.

http://www.jonburras.com/

"Calm the Wind and the Storm Ceases."

I have been learning a lot about breath and breathing here. Truth be told, I have been hearing a lot about it since I started yoga, but it seems as though I am finally listening.

My teachers at home would say "there is nothing to do but breathe", "let the body open up with the breathe" or "go deeper with each breath", and I would hear them and think what they were saying "sounded good", but that was about as far as I got.

I am finally learning exactly what the breath can do for our bodies. First of all, we cannot live with out it. It is the most important thing to us for sustaining life. Yes, even more important than water. If we aren't breathing then we certainly aren't drinking anything! Secondly, we can control our physiological responses with our breath...we can slow our heart rates down or speed them up simply by taking long deep breaths or fast quick breaths (try it and see what happens).

This is a very important technique to learn in our fast paced, high stress societies. We can give our over stressed hearts and lungs a much needed break and prevent diseases just by training our minds/bodies to breathe deep in a stressful situation.

The fast track to learning this technique is, of coarse, yoga; and Bikram yoga specifically. Put yourself in a heated room for 90 minutes doing intense Hatha yoga and try to breath slow and deep (normally) the whole time, do this on a consistent basis. Then, when you are in traffic, not moving, and need to be somewhere in 5 minutes...you will be able to roll with it. You (and your body) will automatically realize; there is nothing to do but breathe".

Get Over Yourself and Get into IT!

So I have decided the "theme" of my training experience here is "Get Over Yourself". I didn't realize just how many patterns/habits I have that keep me stuck and limit my experiences until I got got here and started to actually try to teach this yoga.

I work in a service industry, I am involved in a service group, and now I am learning to teach (really teach) others. It seems as though it's all about acceptance, being open, and able to go with the flow.

When I accept what is happening as a personal choice, stay open to God, the Universe, the Cosmos...etc, to deliver the answers and strength, and just do the next thing that comes up with a willing heart and strong determination, things change.

The most important thing I can do in this process is stay out of my own way, get over myself and GET INTO IT! Who cares if I am not perfect (I suspect no one will be surprised!) and who cares if I "make a fool out of myself"...it adds character. And if someone -god forbid- doesn't like me, well then I think they are probably not the first and will not be the last. Maybe I can at least be a good reflection for them.

So my new mantra for now is: GET OVER YOURSELF AND GET INTO IT!

Break Down to Break Through

This week has been all about breaking out of my limiting beliefs and re-enforcing new behavior patterns...

It started on Monday when I got to my morning class. I went to stretch up in Half Moon pose and realized that my body was killing me. I hadn't really done anything on Sunday and I was hoping that would help my body to recover but that was NOT the case.

Anyway, I started freaking out a little...telling myself that this was crazy, that they might not know what they are doing here, I can't do this and maybe I should just go home. All I wanted to do was go home.

Well those thoughts opened up the flood gates for more tears to come, and this time they didn't stop. I cried pretty much throughout the day. It was the strangest thing, sitting and listening to my lectures and participating in our clinics while tears streamed down my face. I just let them come quietly and tried not to create any drama for anyone else. At times I had to go to the bathroom and sob uncontrollably only to return to class ready to listen and participate once again.

Although it was a very tough day, I realized some important things about myself and about human nature. We all have patterns in our life that we re-enforce on a daily basis and when we are forced outside of our patterns and beyond what we feel we are capable of doing, fear sets in. Fortunately I now know, if I just keep going straight through the fear, the gift on the other side is amazing. It's self-realization.

I didn't quit. I didn't go home. I pushed through and did what I didn't think I could do. I didn't give the negativity enough power to stop me and I didn't stuff it either. I did my best not to judge how I was feeling and just let it pass through me. This was an uncomfortable process and I didn't enjoy it when it was happening. But I have to say it was completely worth it and I have a feeling this is only the tip of the iceberg.

The Yoga

Ok so, I am in the middle of my third week here at Bikram's Yoga Teacher Training and I have finally stopped crying in class! It's not like I was balling uncontrollably or anything but a few tears were coming out every class up until Monday. I had a terrible cold last week -as a told you before- and now am feeling much better. My practice is getting stronger and stronger with every class and I am getting more and more sore with every class!

During my class last night, at the end, in final Savasana, I had a rainbow of color wash over my closed eyes...bright green, orange, purple and red. I don't know what it means...some say it the opening of Chakras (energy centers)...it may very well be. I feel more open and grounded than I have ever felt in my life. As it is with all feelings, this one will eventually pass I am sure, so I am going to try to stay aware of it and grateful for it as long as possible!

The Middle Path

This week has been a tough one for me. We have been going from 8 o'clock AM until 1 o'clock AM most of the days I've been here. The earliest we've gotten out is 11:30PM. I ended up getting really sick with a head and chest cold that is going around.

I have a tendency to be an all or nothing type of person so my old pattern would be go, go, go, push, push, push, until I can't go anymore and then stop completely and recuperate. This was not an option here. I was expected to continue taking my classes and attending my lectures even though I wasn't feeling well. It was suggested that I listen closely to my body and work though the cold. I found myself getting upset because that was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to be told "yes, you have a fever, you need to go up to your room and get some rest". Instead I was asked to do as much as I could during my classes and ultimately, if I needed to leave or miss class, I would have to make up the time missed with additional classes.

Now, I decided before I left for this training that I was going to trust this process, these people and God to lead me through the experiences that came to me. So I accepted my situation and went to all my classes and lectures. I did the very best I could, and wouldn't you know it, I am feeling better and I learned a little something important about myself.

There is a middle path between all and nothing. I just needed to work within my current situation and do my 100% best for that day, regardless of my fears. If what I am doing doesn't look like it did yesterday, or what I think it "should" look like, then that is perfectly alright...it doesn't matter, so long as I give 100% to each experience.

That said, I am so grateful for my health and very happy to be feeling better again!

Emotional Evacuation!

Today I became aware of the body's ability to innately use emotions to heal the body.

When I first got to training it was suggested that we drink one liter of water about 45 minutes before class to hydrate and give ourselves enough time to eliminate the excess. Today I tried that and it turn out to be a disaster!

It is HIGHLY discouraged to leave the room during an actual yoga class, in fact you will be stopped, asked why you are leaving, and if it is not an emergency, you will be sent back to your mat.

So of coarse, I had to go to the bathroom about two postures into class. I was doing the mental part of it, trying to detach and hoping I would sweat it out...believe me I was sweating!! But by the time I got to the floor series it was overwhelming. I was actually crying. I thought maybe I was having an emotional release -and maybe part of it was- but I kept thinking to myself "I am crying because my body is trying to help me get rid of the excess water".

I finally -at about 105 minutes into it- had enough, got up and walked to the back of the room, asked to be excused, and ran top speed to the bathroom! I was back in before the next posture began, relieved and ready to continue.

What an amazing machine, our body. Had I let myself go and sob uncontrollably, would I have no longer had to go to the bathroom? At this point I am grateful for the experience and the awareness. Needless to say I will not be drinking a liter of water 45 minutes before class again! Nor will I wait until I am crying to excuse myself!

Jump out of the well!

Bikram told us this story he heard when he was five years old about a frog that was living inside of a well. This is not exactly the way it was told to us but it is close...

A frog had jumped into a well and could not get out. He was bored and wondering if this was all there was to his life when a man came along and told him that this was not all there was and that this was only a well! He told the frog that there was a whole ocean out there! The frog didn't understand but wanted to know more, so the man picked up the frog and put him in the ocean.

At first he couldn't believe how big and beautiful the ocean was! But then the current started carrying the frog here and there, and some of the waves were really big...he started to get a little scared because he was not sure where he was going or what might happen to him. The frog started to panic and asked the man to put him back in the well where he felt safe.

So the man returned him to his well and the frog was so happy because in the well he could see the walls around him and knew what to expect. He felt safe. But, in just a short while, the frog was unhappy again, bored and alone, wondering if this was all there was to life. He had forgotten about the ocean and the opportunity that was given to him.

This training is about bringing down some of the walls I have constructed around myself that make me feel safe. Its about stepping out of the well and into my life. Letting life take me where the current leads me, about being open to new opportunities and experiences, and letting faith not fear guide me.

Bikram Choudhury

Well I've made it to Honolulu and the training has started. There is so much to say about this training but I decided to write my first blog about the man himself, Bikram Choudhury.

I have to admit I was a little nervous and very excited to meet him. I had heard he can be very critical and that he is not at all politically correct. Truth be told... so far he is living up to those descriptions. On the flip side of that coin though, he has the most genuine smile and the kindest eyes of any human being I have ever met. There is something calming about him. He is grounded, very open, honest and does not personalize any judgement he or anyone else makes. So... I have to say, I like him.

He randomly breaks out into song and dance whenever he feels like it, whether it is during a yoga class or a lecture. He will go off on a tangent about one of his famous friends or his expensive cars and is able come back around to his point using a wonderful metaphor or a story his guru told him. He says whatever he feels like he needs to say, some of it is insightful and inspiring and some of it is rude, crude and offensive. As he would say "there is much gold to be mined through all the dirt".

Its kind of refreshing really; to have someone around who is not afraid of any part of himself or anyone else. I am looking forward to learning much more from him.

Feel the JOY

Much of what I write about is over coming something... I thought I would take a second to remind myself how good it feels to let the joy in!

It's time to feel excited and joyful for all of the wonderful gifts Life has to offer!

Have you felt your joy lately? Open up to it, let it rise up and bubble over and out to the people around you...think of it as your gift to them.

He Didn't Bring You This Far...

to drop you on your butt...

I was talking with a very good friend of mine this morning about having faith that things will work out ok. She's going through some trying times and believes she is being punished in order to learn a lesson...

I just cannot believe that. It seems to me if God (or whatever you name it) is supposed to be Love then this just isn't possible. I think we are responsible for the amount of suffering and fear we feel. We can change our attitude at anytime. We can look at the present moment and see what it is we are lacking and in most cases we will find there is nothing we need right NOW. Maybe we don't have everything we want or think we need for the future but we are taken care of in that moment.

Its funny too because as the moments change and new needs for each moment present themselves...the solution will usually presents itself as well... For me there has always seemed to be just enough of whatever I needed at the time. Maybe not as much as I may have wanted or thought I needed, but enough never-the-less.

I just need to remember to be grateful for what I do have and not be too hard on myself for being human and messing up, then I need to let God do what He does best and have a little faith that I will be taken care of, no matter what I've done.

The Final Countdown!!

Well my Bikram's Yoga teacher training is less than one week away!

I have been going back and forth between excitement and fear...excited to go but fearful to leave... but I have been blessed to have the two best people -in my mind- to entrust the care of what I have created here both professionally and personally to rely on to take care of things while I am away. So, as usual, the fear part is not really necessary. I guess that only leaves time for the excitement part!!!

I will keep up with my postings for those who are interested in what goes on during something like this! I am trying to have very little expectations around what is going to happen. I guess the only real expectation I have is that I will be changed by the experience.

Rocks in the Desert

All summer Shaun and I have been hiking and climbing around in different areas of Arizona.

This weekend we headed down towards Sells, AZ to hike and rock climb Baboquivari Peak (the peak sticking out behind the two others in the photo). We planned out our route and printed out all the needed maps and info, packed up all our gear, food, tent etc...

We left Phoenix on Saturday eve, a little later than we planned and pulled into the campground just as it was getting dark. All of the surrounding peaks were completely hidden by the clouds and it was pouring down rain.

We waited for the rain to let up a little and for the other two people in our party to show up before we set our tent. It was cool and dry inside the tent and we went to bed early to be up for our 345am start!

It was dark but dry when we woke up. We gathered our stuff and our group and headed out towards the mountains on the only trail we could find...

We hiked and hiked and hiked....then bushwhacked and hiked some more, then back tracked, bushwacked and hiked some more! Each one of us looking at our maps and trying to tell the other how to get to this particular ridge (Lions ledge) so that we could start the technical climbing.

Shaun has been mountaineering all of his life and I had/have 100% confidence in his ability. I trust him with my life. But even he could not find the route and was starting to wonder what the heck was going on!

Finally, at 9.5 hours of (strenuous) hiking, out of shear exhaustion we gave up and headed back down.

As we descended we noticed a very small detail that would have made all the difference in finding our route on Baboquivari! We noticed Baboquivari Peak! Out in the distance and over to the south by two peaks!! Yep, we hiked around all day on some other peak! This one:

It just goes to show, when we start out in the dark, we can get lost and try to make things fit. We can see things as we want them to be, try to force some similarities and think we see something we don't. We can cause ourselves a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering trying to navigate our way thinking we know where we are...

Sometimes, when we've tried and tried to make something fit, if we just step back and look at the situation for what it truly is, we might find, it really doesn't fit and the things we think we see aren't really there at all...in fact, we may actually be on the completely wrong mountain!

What a great experience. I hope I never have to duplicate!!

Conscious Contact

Some people call it meditation, some prayer, others call it "plugging in", or being fully present...

Whatever the semantics, its necessary.

How many of us actually take the time to consciously get in touch with whatever we believe in? Its an age old concept, and all who do it on a regular basis will tell us that they feel much more at peace, have more energy, are a lot less fearful, breath easier, rest easier, and have a greater sense of concentration... just to name a few of the benefits.

This seems like such an easy thing to ask of us in light of the payoffs but it can be one of the most difficult things for us to do...

But as we practice sitting quietly and listening(maybe for only a few minutes at time to begin with)We start to feel connected to that Something that lies beneath (or above) it all...maybe for you it's Nature, Chi, God, or Life...the name isn't so important. What is important is the experience.

The future and the past fade away and the reality of the present moment seeps in reminding us that we have everything we need in that moment. After a while this practice teaches us that we can feel this way at any given moment. It becomes easier to find a place of stillness, even in the most chaotic situation because we have been practicing and now we know how to tap into our individual strength.

I've been reminded of this recently and thought someone else out there might like the reminder...tap in to your source of strength regularly and try to improve your own individual conscious contact with what It is. Maybe even think of it as a form of preventive medicine...

"Seemingly" bad

I was meeting with a group of people last week and the woman who was speaking was talking about how she had a tendency, in the past, to think negatively when things weren't going the way she would like them to go. She had fought changes in her life and in the lives of the people that she loved. She would fight because, in her mind, she thought she could see what was best for her and her loved ones...

Of coarse, despite her best efforts to control things, events turned out differently than she wanted. She fought the whole way...stressing herself out, being an emotional wreck, arguing with herself and the people she cared about. She did this a number of times over a number of years and each time she made herself sick about each situation. Finally, the pain got bad enough for her and she got sick of fighting and gave up. She decided to try, one time, to just let "it" go (whatever the next "it" was). To stay out of the way, keep her opinions to herself, and let things happen the way they were going to. She decided to have a little faith.

Wouldn't you know it, she felt 100% better. She wasn't sick about "it" and she hadn't lost precious moments of her life living in the future...

She looked back at the past events she had been fighting and the outcomes that had occurred, and realized that everything had turn out just the way it was supposed to, even GREAT in some cases. Better than she would have created or expected. And in the cases that turned out to be "seemingly" bad, she decided to accept that she didn't have all the answers and couldn't possibly know what had to happen for everyone in each situation. Sometimes we have to go through the "seemingly" bad to get to the good.

What I got out of her sharing her experience is, what is "seemingly" bad is not necessarily so. I believe we need to do only what is in front of us, one decision at a time, and let go of the rest. We don't need to know what is going to happen or how things will turn out. So we let it go.

The only reason "the best indicator of the future is the past" is because we keep FORCING the past to be recreated.

Take a break. Let Life/God/Nature take over for a while. Just do your part as it relates to you in the moment and the rest will be GREAT, even better than we can imagine.

Its Not My Fault. Or is it?

It's funny how some of us do everything in our power to convince ourselves that our circumstances are not our fault. If only I had this or that...if only that person would have done this or that...if only...if only...

So many people live their entire lives never being present, never doing what is right in front of them. At any given moment we can decide that we are responsible for our happiness and make a new decision. Even if that decision is simply changing our mind about a situation.

The simplest answers are usually the right ones, and changing ANYTHING is really just that simple. All we have to do is decide that things are not going to be the same and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Think a different thought about a situation, about another person, or about ourselves.

I used to train dogs, and I believe people are not so different from them behaviorally. Dogs act a certain way because they have been given a certain response to their actions. We do the same thing. We act a certain way because we have been "conditioned" to act that way...whether we have conditioned ourselves or have been conditioned by our parents/society etc... doesn't matter. What really matters -and what makes us different from the dogs- is that we have the ability to reason. We have the ability to see that our actions are just a result of conditioning our thoughts.
So, all we really need to do is re-condition them. Choose to think differently. Believe whatever you want to believe. That's our gift here in the US. Freedom of choice and thought.

Just be careful what you choose to believe, whether it be about yourself or the world around you. Focus your intention on what you want to have happen NOT what hasn't happened...Or what might happen...There is more power in your reoccurring thoughts than we can even begin to comprehend.

Changing can be scary but I like to remind myself that no one really knows what this life is all about anyway. It's up to us to find our individual path and we each have our own set of customized tools inside of us to find and create it.

Never Look Back...Except this Time?

Have you ever left your life? No looking back. Just start over? I'm not really talking about doing it in a healthy way...more like forced change or running away from a situation?

The first time I did it I was told "if you leave here, don't expect to come running back". I was sixteen. The second time I did it, I got the distinct impression the person seeing me off was glad (or at least relieved!) to see me go. I was eighteen.

Since then I thought I had gotten used to changes. I was able to make them without too much hesitation. I was able to let go of the things I had and the life I was living with very little attachment. I would just "get a new one" if the current one wasn't working. No regrets! That was my goal. As a matter a fact, when I did make a change I usually ended up feeling pretty good about it and could eventually let the past go. BUT, I had come to accept "there was no going back".

Well another life change is on the horizon, the "healthy" kind this time. AND I AM SO EXCITED! But this time I am not so eager to give up what I have. For the first time in my life I have created the life I felt would suit me. I did it from scratch, with the help of God and some very gifted people. That's the thing...I have people around me who love me and who I love and respect very much. I have people who trust me and count on me and would actually be disappointed if I left for good.

This is a new an interesting place to be.

This time I don't have to leave for good. I am able to leave and go after my vision, but also to come back and apply what I have found to what I had.

Now I just need to get my heart and head around traveling both directions on the same path...after all I can find my way back now...just follow the path that has already been created.

Love is in the Air...

So I went to a wedding this weekend in Waynesville, NC. It was a small, very intimate wedding that involved only close friends and family.

I was very impressed by the love I felt there. Everyone seemed genuine and truly interested in being there...at one point during the weekend the bride and groom actually went around and introduced everyone who would be attending and involved in their ceremony. This was only about 45 people but it struck me how thoughtful this was for them to do...

I went to lunch with all of the bridesmaids and we did a similar, more detailed introduction...the happiness and openness that was expressed to each other was touching.

It was refreshing to see genuine love, happiness, openness and thoughtful-ness expressed in this way. I left feeling like I had actually made some new friends and strengthened my existing friendships.

Thank you and congratulations Mr & Mrs. Wahl!

Don't Believe It!

There is a collective opinion out there that people can't, don't or won't change... I'm here to tell you that this is a false statement. Don't believe it.

In the past six years I have been fortunate enough to watch so many people transform themselves and their lives, that I can't even count them.

This isn't just superficial change either...I am talking about a deep internal transformation.

Someone I respect very much was talking to me about how, in many cultures, when a child comes "of age" they take time to go inside themselves in order to bring out their true essence and enter into adulthood. This could be on a vision quest, in a sweat lodge or just spending time on their own with this intention in their minds. The information they have collected up until this age is sifted through and the opinions, advice and guidance that has been given to them are either integrated or discarded depending on how it rings true to their own unique person.

She also brought to my attention, that we miss this vital step here in our country, and as a result, we have a lot of people who do not understand who they are or what their unique gifts are. They end up confused and sometimes severely misdirected.
After all, it is frustrating, trying to find what is missing but not knowing what we are looking for.

I don't believe there is one specific way to "find yourself". In fact I believe there are as many ways to do this as there are people. What matters, is that you do. It is important not only for you but for the people around you. Each one of us needs the others unique gifts in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.

So....Don't believe it when someone tells you that people don't, can't or won't change. They do, can, and will. I see it everyday!

Oh Please...

I am painfully aware of just how much I want the people in my life to "be pleased" by my behavior these days. In the past I would have said "there is no way... I don't really care what people think". It would have been a lie of course but I wouldn't have known I was lying...

I have been praying for inner peace for a few years now and to understand and become the woman that God has made me to be. So in aswer to these prayers -which, for me, is a gradual thing- I receive new awarenesses of myself and the character traits that stand in my way of getting what I want.

The "theme" the past couple of months has been, embracing my uniqueness and giving up control.

For me this means embracing who I am and all of my unique characterisics and giving up the idea that I can please everyone around me.

Buyers Remorse?!

So I've sent in my NON REFUNDABLE check for my training, received my acceptance letter and have my tickets to Hawaii purchased....and now I am freaking out!!

All I have been doing this week is comparing myself to others and pointing out to myself where I am not measuring up. I pretend I know what others are thinking about me (as if everyone is thinking about me!) and none of it is good.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Perfectionism? Control? I think maybe I am just afraid. Afraid of failing AND afraid of succeeding...as crazy as that sounds... What if I actual get what I want? Then the measuring stick with be higher and I will have more expectations to live up to...(again with the people thinking about me!) What an ego I can have.

I just need to relax, let go and trust that I will have everything I need to handle whatever I am given.

If anyone has any tips to stay in that head space I would love to hear them!
Thanks!!

Its Official!

Well I received my "Welcome Packet" and Dialogue Book from Bikram's Yoga College last week! So I guess it's official. I have been accepted and am going!! Did I mention how excited I am?!

I have been getting a lot of feedback from different people, mostly positive, but not all.

It's interesting how I notice myself not giving as much weight to the opinions of others as I used to. I am trying to really listen to my inner guidance and go where I am lead. That doesn't mean I am not talking to the people who are important to me and who will be affected by the changes in my life...it just means that I am not basing my decisions, in regards to my vision, solely on the opinions of others. This is a big deal for me and I can feel my faith increasing the more I practice.

I am so grateful for this opportunity and I can't wait to share it with you! :)

Bikram's Yoga College of India

Change, change, change....all kinds of new changes are coming my way and while I have been and can get apprehensive; I am trying to remember that "change equals life" :) and if I am truly living then I am also growing and changing!
So.................

I have put together my packet and am sending it out TODAY, to attend Bikram's Yoga College of India, Teacher's Training in Honolulu, Hawaii.
This is an extremely intense course. It is 9 weeks long, 6 days/week, and 12+ hours per day. It's not only the physical aspect that is intense (and with 300 students in the class!) but there is the Indian philosophy behind it, the histories of different types of yoga, as well as the anatomy and physiology of it. Not to mention the dialogue, memorization of 26 postures and 2 breathing excersize which all have to be spoken fluidly within 90 minutes to Bikram's satisfaction! So, what's the big deal right?!

I am so excited and anxious to go. I am hoping this experience will be life changing for me and that I will come out the other side of it, grateful for the opportunity, and with much more awareness physically, spiritually, and mentally.

Here is the link if anyone is interested in checking it out:
http://www.bikramyoga.com/

Namaste

The Power of Opinion

So, I have recently come to focus on just how much we -both as individuals and as a society- are influenced by the opinions of others. Especially those we love and respect, but certainly not limited soley to them. Complete strangers can just as easily influence us.

How many people do you think are out there that -first of all- know who they are and what they want out of life, and secondly are doing exactly what they want to do and getting what they want out life? I would wager the number is sadly, very low.

If only we could find it within ourselves to accept and love all of who we are and learn to love and embrace the differences in each other. Instead, so many of us spend our time in fear, trying to try to rid ourselves of the very things that make us unique. I don't know about you all, but it's getting pretty boring -not to mention suffocating- living in "Same Town, USA".

I believe the key must be truly knowing who we are first "warts AND beauty marks" and then accepting all of ourselves as spiritual beings and therefore good. It's only then that we can fully reach our potential and break the chains that have been built by countless opinion and projection from others (real or perceived).

So... for what it is worth and in my opinion, you are absolutely perfect, just the way you are. Express it.

Stanely Burroughs Master Cleanser

If you are interested in a detoxifying cleanse for your body then I recommend the "Master Cleanser" by Stanley Burroughs.

Some misdirected folks (in my opinion) have coined this "The Lemonade Diet" but according to Burroughs himself...THIS IS NOT A DIET. If your goal is to loose weight rapidly then there are many other "products" out there to accomplish this task.

The Master Cleanser is designed to detoxify the body. It consists of organic lemon juice, spring water, cayenne pepper and organic maple syrup.

The lemon juice acts as an astringent and gets into the joints of the body to clean up calcium deposits and "toxic build up" that has accumulated there. The cayenne pepper works to keep the body warm during the cleanse and to help keep the metabolism up. The maple syrup is the nutritional part, providing energy as well as essential vitamins and minerals.
This cleanse gives the liver and digestive system a much needed break and a fresh start as years of toxic build up are released from the intestines and colon.

Burroughs states in his book "The basic cause (of dis-ease) is the habits of improper diet, inadequate exercise, negative mental attitudes, and lack of spiritual attunement which combine to produce toxic conditions and malfunction of our bodies. The elimination of the cause of illness is the obvious and only way to healing and health".

I have done this cleanse for as long as 10 days and know people who have done 14 days, all with very positive results.

I am currently on day 3 of my 4th cleanse and while it can be VERY challenging it is also so rewarding.

To check out this book on line you can go to:

http://www.geocities.com/hotsprings/spa/7244/master_cleanse.html

Do you know you?

How many people out there actually can answer the question, "who are you?" or "tell me about yourself", in detail?

I have been talking with some women lately who are unaware of who they are, what they like, and why they do what they do. It seems this is a common condition in society. Many people simply look to someone else to define them. They will see some trait or characteristic in someone else that they admire or think is "acceptable" and try to emulate it. Even if the trait doesn't suit their naturally given personality.

I decided one day to write down all of the things I would do if I had no limitations. This was a good way to get started in finding out what I like to do and what interests I have. Then I wrote down a list of all the things I would do for myself, if I was trying to get me, to fall in love with myself. It was a very nurturing excersize. I actually have gone down the list and have done those things for myself and have treated myself the way I would want others to treat me.

Its funny but we overlook this I think.
We get caught up in treating others well, or doing for others but neglect ourselves or treat ourselves poorly. We can't be of service to anyone else if we don't understand and take care of ourselves....how will we ever know what we have to offer?

I believe that when we know who we are, we are honoring our Creator and are available to use each and every gift that has been given to us to help others.

So....Do you know who you are?

Questions... Answers?

1. Why is it so hard to achieve some goals and so easy to achieve others...? and why does the degree of difficulty vary from person to person?
It seems like there are some goals that I set -while they are difficult in concept- I simply just accept and achieve them; everything falls into place and there it is, done. Then there are others goals -seemingly more simple- that take all of my focus and energy to bring into being...

2. Why is it that some people just automatically lean toward positivity while others have tendencies to be more skeptical instinctually? Is it inate or learned?
I know people that have a positive response or "spin" on everything that they do or say...it is as natural as breathing to them. Then there is someone like me, I go to the negative side first and have to work my way to the positive...

3. If Love is at the center of everything and the strongest emotion...why does it seem to give way to fear so easily?
It seems like people are fighting to find love and express it and to get rid of their fears. Every respected spiritual person I've spoken to has the opinion that Love is stonger, and this is is also my opinion, however the initial response to things seems to be fear, both individually and collectively...

Anyone???

Temper Tantrum

I don't know about you, but I have been spending a lot of my time lately with the words "I want, what I want, when I want it" running through my head....

I know it sounds immature, but it is what it is.
I have been put in a number of situations recently, that have required me to delay instant gratification; and the emotions that are stirred because of it have been uncomfortable for me to feel. Even the positive emotions like, excitement, anticipation, joy etc... are difficult.

At first I didn't know that this was the problem, but as time has passed and I continued to avoid feeling the emotions as they came up, I found myself becoming more and more uncomfortable, inside and OUT!

The other day -while I was stewing about what I wanted and how I had to wait for it- I was also trying to find a way to console myself.... Unfortunately my references for doing this in the past haven't always been positive... but I don't drink or smoke anymore, and I really didn't want to deal with the consequences of finding a nice comforting dessert to eat...
So, I was just stewing. That was when the light bulb went off. (Now, I realize for some of you this next part would hardly be an epiphany. But that's exactly what it was for me...)

This thought went through my head, "I don't need comfort from anything external. I just need to let the emotion come up, feel it, have a little faith and let it go."

There's a novel idea right? Well, a good friend of mine has been telling me this for a while now...and I understood it intellectually. But it had to come from within me, as a solution, at exactly the right time, in order for me to actually FEEL it.

Well, that is what happened. So, thanks Kim, I am so grateful.

I will try to remember that feeling uncomfortable is a part of Life sometimes, that all of my emotions are God given, and that they will pass when I accept them.

This has been a great learning experience and has opened yet another door for me.

Change

The only constant thing in life is change.
Embrace it and allow Life's gifts to be provided to you. So many of us give up to fear just before the miracle happens...what if we pushed through it in faith? The times I've been able to manage it, the outcome has been far more positive than I could have ever imagined.

C: courage
H: hope
A: acceptance
N: NOW
G: god
E: eternal

God's got mad skills

Things have been crazy for me the past couple of months...I've felt like there was so much going on I didn't know what to write...but, after reading my friend's blogspot (kimberlykingsley.com), I was inspired.

Kim was talking about manifestation... this got me thinking about what is happening in my life and how it is all "panning" out. The things that are happeining are a direct result of my desire to manifest them. I have been very aware of what I have been "putting out there" this past year...careful not to be too specific and to go with the flow in faith, that what comes in will be better than I could imagine. And so that has been the case. What has come in is better than I could have ever imagined it to be.

Kim's blog was a wake up call for me though because I was "slipping" back into fear a little bit. I was starting to entertain -in very specific detail- how I wanted things to go in my life. Thankfully, I am aware of it now and can slow down, recapture my faith and let God work it all out in spectacular detail. He is afterall, the one with the mad creation skills :)
All I am going to do is the next thing in front of me and try to tune in to that internal source of direction.

Thanks Kim! And God Bless.

Drama Mama

The world loves a little (or a lot) of drama doesn't it? We are bombarded with pressure to come up with it for all kinds of reasons...money, fame, attention, pity, even love....

I find that I am less comfortable contributing to the drama of life these days, but sometimes I like the distraction it presents for me from whatever I need to take a look at within myself.
I need the distractions some days because I can get afraid of what is happening in my life and can let my faith in future fade...

I have a new goal...to remember that faith and fear are both action words and these are two sides of the same coin. I get to choose on a daily basis which one I will spend on whatever comes up. If I buy into fear I get drama. If I buy into faith I get peace.

Why do the simplest concepts seems the most difficult to apply?