This week has been a tough one for me. We have been going from 8 o'clock AM until 1 o'clock AM most of the days I've been here. The earliest we've gotten out is 11:30PM. I ended up getting really sick with a head and chest cold that is going around.I have a tendency to be an all or nothing type of person so my old pattern would be go, go, go, push, push, push, until I can't go anymore and then stop completely and recuperate. This was not an option here. I was expected to continue taking my classes and attending my lectures even though I wasn't feeling well. It was suggested that I listen closely to my body and work though the cold. I found myself getting upset because that was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to be told "yes, you have a fever, you need to go up to your room and get some rest". Instead I was asked to do as much as I could during my classes and ultimately, if I needed to leave or miss class, I would have to make up the time missed with additional classes.
Now, I decided before I left for this training that I was going to trust this process, these people and God to lead me through the experiences that came to me. So I accepted my situation and went to all my classes and lectures. I did the very best I could, and wouldn't you know it, I am feeling better and I learned a little something important about myself.
There is a middle path between all and nothing. I just needed to work within my current situation and do my 100% best for that day, regardless of my fears. If what I am doing doesn't look like it did yesterday, or what I think it "should" look like, then that is perfectly alright...it doesn't matter, so long as I give 100% to each experience.
That said, I am so grateful for my health and very happy to be feeling better again!
2 comments:
This seems like one of the most valuable lessons one can learn in life. It feels strength building - in mind, body and spirit - but also loving to yourself.
Thanks for sharing:)
L, K
It sounds like a great lesson in impermanence and acceptance! Everything comes and everything goes; even pain. I'm glad horse stances don't last as long as illness, but I learned a long time ago that in a good, solid horse stance, its going to hurt; you just have to accept that the pain is there, but its transient. Focus and concentration push through the pain and allow the task at hand to be accomplished as best as you can muster, all the while being comforted that its impermanent. Life has such great lessons.
I'm glad you made it through G!
gav.
Post a Comment