Expect Success

I talk a lot about success and happiness, and as I think about my definition of success, it makes me wonder just how different we all are. I imagine each person has their own individual way in which they would define being successful.

For me being successful definitely includes having enough money and a job that I love. It means loving others and feeling loved. But mostly it means having peace of mind and feeling comfortable in my own skin.

When I feel that way on the inside... I don't doubt. And when I don't doubt, everything seems easy and just falls into place.

How do you define success?

It's that simple.

Just do it. For the longest time my response to this would have been, "If I could just do it, don't you think I would!" Well, I can and so can you. What I am coming to realize is, it's just that simple.

Many of us have "that something" which continually gets in the way of the "success" we would like to achieve. And it feels like no matter what, we just can't seem to "do it". Well, here's the suggestion I was given, and when applied, it works out very well...

First, we acknowledge IT is giving us trouble and just how that is happening. Then, decide that we don't want to do IT anymore and ask -whatever we believe in- for strength. Now here comes the hard part..... we DO SOMETHING to encourage that success! We don't just sit around and wait for a change to just fall into our laps... that is NEVER going to happen.

You know that old saying "faith without works is dead"? Well it's true. All we need is a little faith in ourselves, and in the idea that we will be given the strength to DO whatever needs to be done. Even if we only hope that this is true...that's enough. Hope is also an action.

Analyzing and thinking about things is great and as I said before it's a gift to be able to use our minds to help us. But in the end, what's more important? What we thought or what we DID?

Excuse me, you're in your way...

If only we could get out of our own way sometimes. There is a dichotomy inside us all. The angel on one shoulder vs the little devil on the other...our negative side vs our positive side...good vs evil...call it what you will, but its there.

Just as soon as we get on a roll and start thinking we know what we are doing or that we've got it covered, that other side pops up to try and stop us in our tracks. Maybe it shows up as self doubt or fear. It doesn't really matter how it shows up as much as it matters how we respond to it.

Do we buy in to the fear and doubt and sabotage your own happiness? Or do we simply notice it's there and let it go? Disregarding it, as if it is someone we don't really care to get advice from, giving us their opinion.

Growing Pains

Do you ever feel like your just "winging it" when it comes to life? I do.

Some of us are fortunate enough to have had healthy childhoods. But it seems to me that many of us have had childhoods with very little direction as to how to handle hard situations in a healthy way.

You know... the lessons where you come up against something challenging, get to express your feelings and feel supported, and then work through it to help build a healthy sense of self esteem? No? Well, that didn't happen for me either... and as a result there are times when I feel like I am still going through some very remedial emotional growing pains.

You know what sounds good to me? Balance. I've had some catching up to do and probably have more to come, but I am learning to get through the difficult situations with the support that is available all around me. It means, asking for help on occasion, or gutting it out every once in a while, but in the end it's about having gratitude and faith. Knowing that everything I need is already mine and that I have just enough strength for every challenging situation that comes up.

And by the way, you do too.

The Price of Life is Paid with Attention

We've all heard it...Slow down life's too short, enjoy the ride, stop and smell the roses, it's a journey not a destination, stay in the moment, it's not where you end up but how you get there....I could go on and on but I think you get the idea.

We all have dreams and goals in life and work hard to achieve them, sometimes we are so busy working on "getting there" that we miss where we have been and all the opportunities that are constantly being presented to us here and now...

I think it is important to identify our dreams, set our goals and then shift the focus to the present moment. That is where the miracles happen. And all it will cost us is our full attention.

What fills you up?

Go ahead, call me a tree hugger, hippie, granola, whatever you like.... but I get such an energy boost from being out in the middle of nature! Especially in the mountains in the northwest!

This past weekend I spent some time in Oregon. I was standing on a ridgeline across from the summit of Mt. Hood and was overwhelmed by the view which was 360 degrees and included 5 different snowcapped mountain peaks! It was breathtaking... Not to mention there were butterflies flying all around, posing for me to take photos of.

This is where I find my serenity. In the middle of the mountains, surrounded by thousands of trees, a few streams, a lake, and an occasional (harmless!) animal. I love to watch how the sun streams through the trees and lights up small patches of leaves or a small trickle of water coming off the mountain. I can truly get lost in the sight of it...and the heavy scent of pine on a cool breeze...awh yeah, there's nothing like it.

I actually feel lighter, less constricted, in this environment. I can breath easier. I am reminded of how small and insignificant I am and somehow this brings me peace. Knowing that there is something wonderful and much greater than me out there that is able to create something as spectacular as this; makes my proverbial "cup" runneth over.

What fills you up?

Existentialism

Websters definition of Existentialism:
A philosophy that emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one's acts.

I like this philosophy. This definition talks about the universe being hostile and indifferent. I have to agree with that. In my opinion, the power that created everything (God if you like), has also given us our own will to make our own choices.
The collateral damage from some of the choices we make contributes the hostile world we live in. Therefore, God (or the universe) can be indifferent because there is no need for judgement, punishment, or even praise, we do that to ourselves.

I also believe that why we are here, or the purpose of humanity is unknown. There are quite a few good guesses out there but I don't think anyone really knows. I honestly think that some of these "guesses" as to why we are here are based in quieting the fear of not actually knowing. I think the real question is what are we going to do with the time that we have?

Finally, I believe that everything I do has a choice that comes right before it, to do it or not to do it....whatever the outcome of my actions I have to remember that it was my choice in the first place. Therefore the consequences belong to me and no one else.

Being Human

Here is what has come to mind since the last entry. Consistent contentment is an immature and idealistic concept. No one ever reaches it and most are smart enough not to even set it as a goal. The consensus of the ages is that Life ebbs and flows....and the only thing constant is change.

Staying in the moment, not playing God, and being grateful for who I am will bring me the joy I am looking for. It's when I forget these things that I become restless, irritable and discontent. To the extent that these actions are consistent; my happiness consistent.

The Elusive Dream

I would like to know how many people can say they are truly content. Not just moments of happiness or even a week or a month....but consistently happy. I could be wrong, but it seems like these people are few and far between, if they even exist at all.

What is it that creates a feeling of contentment? Money, fame, success, that special someone, God? I know many people who say it's God or Faith. And while I think having faith can definitely bring periods of joy and give us a reason to "keep on keeping on"...I cannot say for sure if it creates consistent happiness.

I consider myself spiritual in nature and someone who has faith, and there are times when I can let go of the things I want or feel will bring me contentment. This seems to bring a sense of joy to my life, sometimes for weeks at a time. Inevitably though, I go back to searching again and come up short of consistent contentment...

Maybe I just do not have enough faith... Or could it be that some people are just pre-disposed to be happier in general? While for others, it seems like its a constant chase for something that is an elusive dream.

Things are thoughts & thoughts are things...

I was with a group of people last night who were talking about prayers, mantras, or sayings they use throughout their day and someone said they use the Serenity prayer but replace the word "things" with the word "thoughts"... I thought that gave the prayer an interesting perspective...

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things (thoughts) I cannot change
The courage to change the things (thoughts) I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.

What do you say or do to help you in trouble spots or to give you inspiration?

And the wheels on the bus....

I am re-reading one of my favorite books, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. In his book he talks about "watching the thinker inside of you" and "rising above your thoughts".

He suggests that instead of "buying in" to the negativity that we tell ourselves, to be a neutral third party. Just observing the thoughts come in and go out of your mind, without any attachment. Have you ever tried to do this? I have, and while I am aware of the thoughts, it's difficult for me to let some of them just go by.

I think Tolle is right though and some thoughts are useless and can hinder us. Our minds are tools to help us, when needed. They are not who we are.

So often our thoughts just go round and round, "mindless chatter". I mean really, how many times has a song gotten "stuck" in your head and no matter what you do, you can't seem to get rid of it?
Maybe we can't get rid of it because we keep getting frustrated with it. The more frustrated we get, the more we keep thinking about it. If we just acknowledge that the thoughts are there and let the them go by, as if it's no big deal, then they eventually will be no big deal.

Practice. Practice. Practice. I have a feeling this may take a while! :)

Dive Baby

I went skydiving last weekend with a few of my girlfriends and I have to say, I can't believe I actually stepped out of a perfectly good airplane!!! It was truly an act of letting go and putting my faith in God (and my tandem instructor). Ya, I know, it was only tandem... but either way I was still freefalling for about a minute from 13,000 feet!

It's funny because when someone would say "I'd love to go skydiving" or something like that...I would always say "me too, or I'd do that". Although, I don't think I really ever thought I'd get the opportunity.
All I can say is becareful what you wish for because you might just have to put your money where you mouth is! I am so glad I did!

Things I want to do before I die...
Skydiving......check.
Great White Shark dive?...mmhmm, I can feel it...it's coming!