Temper Tantrum

I don't know about you, but I have been spending a lot of my time lately with the words "I want, what I want, when I want it" running through my head....

I know it sounds immature, but it is what it is.
I have been put in a number of situations recently, that have required me to delay instant gratification; and the emotions that are stirred because of it have been uncomfortable for me to feel. Even the positive emotions like, excitement, anticipation, joy etc... are difficult.

At first I didn't know that this was the problem, but as time has passed and I continued to avoid feeling the emotions as they came up, I found myself becoming more and more uncomfortable, inside and OUT!

The other day -while I was stewing about what I wanted and how I had to wait for it- I was also trying to find a way to console myself.... Unfortunately my references for doing this in the past haven't always been positive... but I don't drink or smoke anymore, and I really didn't want to deal with the consequences of finding a nice comforting dessert to eat...
So, I was just stewing. That was when the light bulb went off. (Now, I realize for some of you this next part would hardly be an epiphany. But that's exactly what it was for me...)

This thought went through my head, "I don't need comfort from anything external. I just need to let the emotion come up, feel it, have a little faith and let it go."

There's a novel idea right? Well, a good friend of mine has been telling me this for a while now...and I understood it intellectually. But it had to come from within me, as a solution, at exactly the right time, in order for me to actually FEEL it.

Well, that is what happened. So, thanks Kim, I am so grateful.

I will try to remember that feeling uncomfortable is a part of Life sometimes, that all of my emotions are God given, and that they will pass when I accept them.

This has been a great learning experience and has opened yet another door for me.