I have a spiritual program that I use to help me navigate life which has been very valuable to me over the past, almost ten years. Over these years I have gone back and forth with the concept of GOD. It has been a roller coaster for me, an actual love/hate relationship, and as a result -this most important relationship role model- has bled into many of my significant relationships.
You see I've had two "gods" in my life. One, an all encompassing sort of energy or Spirit which does not posses human qualities. And the other, my childhood god, a much more "traditional" sort of morphed Christian god. This one has human characteristics and is full of short comings....is punishing and inconsistent and very, very conditional. The funny thing is, until recently I had no idea I had both concepts.
When I am out in nature, especially remote areas, I know that there is a current that runs around and through the earth and every being here. It is palpable, visible and extremely powerful. I have felt it, seen it and experienced it. When I am aware of that "presence" or "energy" I am in awe and inspired. I feel small (right sized) and part of a bigger picture. I know that there is definitely a power greater than myself in those moments. A power I have within me to tap into when I need strength, patience, self control, determination or any other word in this genre...
So, now that I have had this realization I understand that I have been seeking assistance and strength from a very limited concept, and I know now why I have felt so alone and abandoned at times. So it makes sense to let go of this childish idea and embrace what I have know somewhere inside all along. That God is everything.
I spent some time feeling regret for putting so many limits on a truly unlimited source of power, but that doesn't do any good either...
I simply didn't know I didn't know; until I knew I didn't know, and my amends will be the gratitude I feel for this new awareness. :)
9 comments:
Not one to have words that come easily when writing in this fashion....but I too believe that "God is everything" - non-definable but very "feelable" and that continues to grow - sometimes diminish and then reappear depending on where I am....I also liked reading about the fact that I can look out a window and see something and someone else can look out that same window from the same vantage point and see something completely different - neither one of is right or wrong - I feel that goes for what we feel and believe in - what I feel or see may not be exactly what another sees or feels but I can respect and honor that. I also, upon reflection, look at following God's will as we here in many instances and I see that today as being out of my selfish self and being able to look and think of others and not just my "wants". Wow - it looks like I have written a few paragraphs - more than what I usually do---I think of the frames I make - I throw some thoughts together - if they don't feel right after some time - I change them - and that continues on until I feel inside that I am content with the final product - and then am open to suggestions for possible change, which I may not see at the time for whatever reason. Time to stop. Not sure where this will go but hope you get it back. D
Interesting - you've chosen to make a God in an image of your own liking.
Don't we all? :) just to different degrees...
g.
Gabi - I love the new look of your blog sista! Beautiful posts as well:) Blessings to you!!
L, K.
I would say many people do make a god in an image to their own liking. But when one does this they should should consider this question: Do you believe, what you really believe, is really real?
Are you willing to risk your life for it?
Interesting question.
If you believe you are risking your life... All I really know for sure is this physical life ends, after that I suppose I will have to wait and see.
I am curious...who am I commenting with?
Gabi
Maybe risking one's life is the more extreme case. And by "risk", I mean allowing your life to be at risk/in danger because of your beliefs - not because of reckless behavior.
What if it became against the law to have your beliefs? Would you risk prison time for them?
The more common incident would be, are you willing to be persecuted for your beliefs? Or will you abandon them when holding on to those beliefs becomes difficult/uncomfortable?
Keeping to them, doesn't make them the truth, it just affirms - do you believe, what you really believe, is really real. Or is it only a belief as long as it's convenient and comfortable.
My name is Kevin.
I see where you are coming from.
I can honestly say what I believe is no one know for sure what is the "truth" or what happens when we die.
I can only go with what rings true intuitively and feels resonable, for me. I have studied many, many religions and there seems to be an underlying theme to almost all that I can relate to. They all just have there own way of defining and putting it together so that they can try to understand the UN-understandable....
I am very grateful to have the freedom to feel as I choose and not to have anothers ideas forced upon me, ...risking my life.
The theme I see present in most religions is this: If you work hard enough, maybe you've been good enough. And if I "think" I've been good enough - by who's standard? My own?
A little too much of the uncertainty principle for me.
Kevin
Post a Comment