Accentuate the Positive

Up until this past year, I had always considered myself a little on the "glass is half empty" side of things. A little skeptical...a little morose...
I really wanted to be a more optimistic person but was sure I just "wasn't the type".
At that time in my life pain was a great motivator for me. When things got bad enough and the pain of being so negative got great enough, I decided to try to change my perspective.

So, I started surrounding myself with people who were more "the glass is half full" types...if you're lucky, you know the ones I mean...kind, humble, positive, considerate, and generally happy with themselves and their lives? Ya, they were the people who had what I wanted out of life. So I've been trying to learn what I can from them and then practice doing the things that will bring me happiness.

I also have been learning to dismiss the negativity in my head, literally. I had to learn that all of that "old crap" that I try to tell myself is just that, crap. It is totally irrelevant because each new experience if different. So, I try to treat those thoughts as background noise or static if you will.

Since I have been practicing this new kind of thinking it has taught me that I can re-program my own thoughts and choose to be who I want to be regardless of who I think I am.

So today, at least for me, it means I need to accentuate the positive in each situation and give as little attention as possible to the self defeating thoughts that come to mind .

Blissed Out?

My good friend and engergy coach Kimberly Kingsley likes to use the term "blissed out". She and I having been working together for some time and I have been releasing blocks and growing substantially, at a very rapid pace -although at times it hasn't felt that way. And as a result of all of this work I feel as though I may have recently come into this state of being "blissed out".

I imagine this is what it feels like to be free. Free of anything blocking me from the inside out....I have been feeling very electric on an internal level. Vibrating at such a level that I can actually feel it.

I have felt what some call "the pink cloud" before but somehow this feels different. It is as though I have reintegrated a part of myself that has been lost for a lot of years and now I am free to be me again....

Totally Magic

I have never been so pleasantly surprised by anything in my life...and I had an awakening of sorts this weekend.

This weekend someone I haven't seen or spoken to in sixteen years came to visit me. We have a very colorful past and lots of significant events have happened to shape our lives as a result of our past relationship.

I knew it would not be easy to see this person, but felt like it needed to be done anyway. So...I did the best I could to stay open, honest and willing to have this experience. I am so glad I did.

What I expected to happen didn't come to fruition and I couldn't have imagined what did happen if I had tried to. I was completely surprised and so grateful to be able to stay in the moment. I felt present and willing to hear what was being said and see what was being done without any preconceived notions getting in my way. I felt the full spectrum of emotions as old information was expressed and released, and while it was very draining at times, it was also extremely fulfilling.

This experience has opened my eyes to who I was, what I have lost, and what I have gained. It has given me hope for the future, increased my faith, and opened my heart.

And once again this confirms for me that the only way out of fear is to walk straight though it.

Let It Flow

There are so many changes going on in my life that I can hardly keep up. I am feeling overwhelmed and excited, exhausted and energized, all at the same time! Its difficult to even know where to begin to express all that is happening. All of these changes are ones I want and am willing to make, and while it is scary and there are some unknowns, I really feel like its a good thing to be changing. It means growth is happening.

It's also a practice in faith for me. To let go and know that what I can't see will be provided, and if I pay attention to what my gut tells me and act accordingly, the outcome will be well worth any struggle involved.

In situations like this, in order to stay focused and easy going, I believe instant gratification must be put on the back burner. This is important because the more I go with the flow of things the more life flows freely and effortlessly.

So...I have to remind myself, that any frustration or impatience I feel is a direct reflection of my state of mind as it relates to change, and peace within the chaos is only one decision away.

A Life/Engery Mentor

Over the past 5 years, I have been learning a lot about emotion, expression and life in general through the teachings and understanding of Kimberly Kingsley. Kimberly has written a couple of books in reference to these things and is a life/energy coach. She has tremendous insight and wisdom, and is a beautiful soul.

If you enjoy some of the writtings on this blogspot, I would encourage you to visit hers. She has provoked much of what I have been talking about here...

http://www.kimberlykingsley.com/

Developing your Practice

I am learning to play the piano right now and I got to thinking about how being present for life is a lot like learning the piano. I have to practice if I want to get better at it.

I think life provides us many opportunities to practice what we need to learn. For instance, have you ever noticed it when you are trying to change a certain behavior, that you keep getting that behavior shoved in your face?
I believe that this is life's way of helping us out by giving us the opportunity -sometimes over and over again- to practice doing something different.

The word practice itself implies that we haven't mastered something.

And, I don't know about you but life must be a practice because I don't know anyone who has it completely mastered...

I truly believe I am here to learn how to love. Love myself and others. To stay open for the opportunity to have wonderful relationships with people but to honor myself and who I am in the process. What a gift to have this realization and to actually be practicing.

Slow down Mr. Jones

I was driving home from the gym this morning, watching the traffic and listening to the radio, when I had one of those moments...

I realized just how precious this gift of life is. I have heard that a thousand times and sort of scoffed or dismissed mostly. But today for some reason I got to thinking about just how short this little lifetime is, and how -if I am not careful- I will completely miss it.

I don't want to spend the years I have here running as fast as I can after one thing or the next. Or worse yet, telling myself I'll relax and enjoy life after I (insert accomplishment here)...

No one really knows what we are doing here or what happens once its over but there is so much magic in the interaction with people and the earth that it seems like a waste to focus my attention on how to keep up with Mr. & Mrs. Jones.

Sistah Blue

A group of us went to the Rhythm Room last night to listen to a band called Sistah Blue. They are a phenomenal, all woman, Blues band. The band consists of five woman all entering the autumn of their lives, but seemingly decades younger than they are.... There energy is infectious!

The most impressive sight there though, was Miss Betty. An eighty-eight year old, beautiful little woman. She was dressed to the nines and out on the dance floor "gettin her groove on" with the rest of us! Betty is slightly bent over and dances 1/2 time to the beat...but the smile on her face never left as her hips shook and shimmied to Sistah Blue! By midnight I was tuckered out, but Miss Betty was still out there, shakin' her thang!!

If I am around at eighty-eight, I hope that I am still living life to the extent that Miss Betty is.
You go girl! You are a true inspiration!

I love you...Potentially.

I asked a dear friend of mine "How do you know when you have tried all you can in a relationship?" and he said to me "You know a relationship is over when...nothing the other person could change about themselves would make you want to stay in the relationship."

I wonder how many of us tend to fall in love with a person's potential instead of the actual person. How often do we just overlook this and that, hoping that one day the person we are with, will miraculously become the person we actually want to be with?

To avoid falling into this trap I believe it's important to keep our hearts open so that we can see clearly, but to delay instant gratification when necessary. Have you ever heard of the saying "Good things come to those who wait"? I think it applies here and I am hoping it's true.

Besides, I wouldn't want to try to turn someone into something they are not, and delay their joy in expressing who they truly are.

A four letter word

Love.
I can think of a number of famous four letter words but this one seems to be at the top of everyone's list and in the middle of everything. We are forever trying to find it, avoid it, contain it, teach it, sell it, buy it, on and on and on...
We look everywhere for it, although we might not know we are looking. And many of us are unable to recognize it even when it is right in front of us.

The problem is not Love itself but our definition of it. Many of us have heard 1 Corinthians 13:4 at sometime or other. Whether is was at a friends wedding (or maybe your own), a funeral, a church service...we hear the words but who ever really tries to understand them? After all it is coming out of the bible! That in itself can cause enough fear for dismissal.

I really like the words though, it gives me a good starting place for a little four letter word that I believe, is literally indescribable when truly felt. Here are some of the words...

Love is: Patient, kind, doesn't envy, doesn't boast, isn't rude, isn't self seeking, isn't easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs, it delights in truth, always protects, always perseveres, and never fails.

It's kind of like a road map...if your lost and you don't know whether or not it's love, then look at the words and see if any of them are there. The more there are, the more it is.

Gentle Guidance

I know many people who pray. Pray for strength, direction, freedom from this or that, etc.
And I have been witness to many answered prayers.

For the longest time I didn't pray. I figured I had "sinned" my way right out of heaven a long time ago, so what was the use. But I found myself at a point in my life where prayer was actually necessary for my survival. I had to re-think my stance on this. I had no other choice. I needed help and I couldn't get it from myself or any other person. God knows I tried.

It's funny too, because I began to pray very simple prayers at first. Then I started to pray more specifically when I found that my prayers were being answered. Today I still pray specifically, but I also pray that whatever I need to learn or whatever needs to be removed from my life (or allowed in for that matter) happens gently and effortlessly.

This is important. Today I believe that changing or growing (in Answer to prayer) doesn't necessarily have to be painful. So often things have to get terribly painful before we will accept (on faith) that change will be good. I'm beginning to realize that Joy can also be a Great Motivator. Its what motivates children to be so fearless. I have to remember how I felt as a child before cynicism and distrust moved in to replace optimism and hope.

May you realize your hearts desires gently and effortlessly, just knowing that there is Joy behind it.

Just once, again and again.

Addictions have been part of my life for as long as I can remember, but it wasn't until the last several years that I have been aware of them and working to overcome them. And while I don't have any formal training on addiction, I do have years of study and first hand experience.

Whether it be drinking, drugs, smoking, food, or the opposite sex (I could go on....) addictions are very real and they can overtake us. I have found the most effective way (so far) to "overcome" them is to stop thinking and just do. Do what you need to in order to achieve the goal, and do it just once.

For instance, if you ate a salad at the next meal and this caused you to be at your goal weight... wouldn't you eat the salad? If you skipped that glass of wine at dinner and you never felt that compulsion to finish the whole bottle again...wouldn't you skip it? If you skipped that cigarette after dinner just once and became a non-smoker...wouldn't that be worth it?

All of these "just once's" add up to a lifetime of forming new habits. New habits that are free of addiction. If you think about it, all we have is the moment we are in anyway. So, if we use this train of thought to do the next right action, in that moment, eventually we become who we desire to be. Simply from a string of right decisions moment to moment.

The key is not to allow yourselves to think about anything other than what the action is going to be now. Not what you did a minute ago or what you may do a minute from now. Disregard those thoughts and bring your attention to doing what is next in order to reach the goal. If you choose something other than what is helpful to you, that's okay. Dust yourself off and try again. A new moment has just arrived!

And if you have faith, ask for strength. If you don't, you may want to consider that since you didn't create the world outside of yourself (or inside yourself for that matter) that there just might be some thing/force/energy/spirit/god....out there that did. And that is really all the faith you need.

What doesn't kill you...

I've heard that Life has many layers of understanding. I've recently had some experiences that have validated this statement for me.

I know at times it seems as though things just can't get any worse. Whether it be physically, emotionally or spiritually... and a lot of us get to the point where we are sick of hearing ourselves talk and think about certain subjects simply because it doesn't feel like we are making any progress.

All I have to say is, keep pushing through whatever you are working on. Keep trying. Even when it seems like you are going backwards. You are not. Eventually you will break through it and on the other side is a whole new level existence.

As they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

Starving the Ego

Ah, the human ego...our nemesis.

It's funny because our ego tries to tell us we are better than or convince us that we are less than...whoever or whatever we want to be, have or do. This I believe, is to distract us from the moment. It needs us to be distracted, because if we don't "feed" it, the ego dies.

It's okay though, if the ego dies. It's actually a good thing. We are free then to look at what is happening right in front of us and focus our intention on our reactions to it. This allows God or Spirit or whatever you want to label it, to step in. Positive energy is no longer blocked by the distractions of the ego and free to provide everything that is needed in that moment.

On letting go...

What would it be like if we only focused only on what we can control? To come to an understanding that we can plan and design and create, but to understand that we don't have any control over how things will actually turn out.

I know for me, it's a peaceful feeling when I can let go of things that come up that aren't "in my plan" and just go with the flow. I just make a new plan. From the smallest little thing, to long term goals. I look at it as part of life and remember that life is bigger than me.

It's definitely a process. And like most great things in life...the more I grasp this concept, the more I understand that internal peacefulness has many different layers. I know that I have only scratched the surface. The great thing about that is, I also know that I am the only one who will stand in my way, so I can simply just choose to get out of it. The more I do that the better life is.

Childlike

So many of us, as we grow up, loose our childlike-ness. We get busy with grown up things like mortgages, bills, work, raising children, etc. That's the way it works. We are encouraged to use logic and reason instead of our imagination and creativeness.

I know that I have often wonder to myself "what's it all for" and "why are we here"...these are big and overwhelming questions that can cause a person to get lost in thought and even feel a little crazy after a while. And what I've come up with isn't all that profound. I know Love is at the basis of it all and after that I don't know...

But what I do know is, that while I am here I don't want to be so caught up in trying to figure it out that I loose this short precious gift I've been given. So, I'm seeking the midset of a child. Creative and playful. Flexible and excited about what was going to happen next. Interested in how each person and situation I have to meet is different and interesting...

Sure there has to be a balance and not all of us can go goofing around all day. But I want to enjoy my life and so for me, being grateful, expecting good things to come in, and keeping it simple by staying in the moment keep me from being too "grown up" and allow the child in me to come out and play.

Have a great day! Go out and play!

Full Circle

It's funny how quickly I can look at things in my life that "I have accomplished" and get all ego-inflated. This leads to taking what I have for granted and eventually focusing only on what I don't have. I forget all that I went through to get where I am.

The truth of the matter is that it has been a cooperative effort. I just do the next thing in front of me and God takes care of the outcome. Which by the way has been phenominal each time I have entrusted it to Him.

But how easily I forget and become self righteous. Demanding more and searching for answers as to why He's no longer listening to me... Oh, He's listening. I'm just no longer cooperating. Meaning, I'm not doing the next thing anymore. I'm whining about all I have done and not wanting to do anymore...but still wanting Him to give me what I want. I even say please...Ya, please just drop it in my lap.

It doesn't work that way. So the answer is to stop thinking and talking, and start doing again.

All by our one-zies

**WARNING THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS CYNICISM AND SARCASM**IF YOU'RE FEELING THIN SKINNED TODAY...SKIP THIS ONE.

That's it really. All we really have in this world is ourselves. We better get busy taking care of what we have. No one else is going to do it.

How many selfless people do you know? They are rare...that's why they call them "saints".
If you're offended by that, please don't be. It's a tall order in today's society to do something for other people absolutely free of charge. No one faults people for being selfish now-a-days. As a matter of fact it's a fascinating new and growing trend...

It's called "personal expression" and "individuality". If you don't like something...it's okay, just go off and do your own thing...you won't be missed. Look at technology...pretty soon we won't even need to interact with "real" people at all, everything will be automated. Well, just as soon as they figure out virtual procreation...

I love my job and helping people and I can't believe I'm the only saint out there!? But just in case, at the end of the day, I hope I remembered to take care of myself first...because I'm beginning to realize that if I need something -whether it be physically or emotionally- I'm going to have to get it myself.

Powerlessness

Imagine you are on an airplane way up in the sky...you are all alone on that airplane. You look out the window and see the thing you love the most sitting on the outside of the airplane, in a place out of the wind, but one wrong move and it's lost forever....what do you do?
Ya...that sums it up.

Expect Success

I talk a lot about success and happiness, and as I think about my definition of success, it makes me wonder just how different we all are. I imagine each person has their own individual way in which they would define being successful.

For me being successful definitely includes having enough money and a job that I love. It means loving others and feeling loved. But mostly it means having peace of mind and feeling comfortable in my own skin.

When I feel that way on the inside... I don't doubt. And when I don't doubt, everything seems easy and just falls into place.

How do you define success?