The Final Countdown!!

Well my Bikram's Yoga teacher training is less than one week away!

I have been going back and forth between excitement and fear...excited to go but fearful to leave... but I have been blessed to have the two best people -in my mind- to entrust the care of what I have created here both professionally and personally to rely on to take care of things while I am away. So, as usual, the fear part is not really necessary. I guess that only leaves time for the excitement part!!!

I will keep up with my postings for those who are interested in what goes on during something like this! I am trying to have very little expectations around what is going to happen. I guess the only real expectation I have is that I will be changed by the experience.

Rocks in the Desert

All summer Shaun and I have been hiking and climbing around in different areas of Arizona.

This weekend we headed down towards Sells, AZ to hike and rock climb Baboquivari Peak (the peak sticking out behind the two others in the photo). We planned out our route and printed out all the needed maps and info, packed up all our gear, food, tent etc...

We left Phoenix on Saturday eve, a little later than we planned and pulled into the campground just as it was getting dark. All of the surrounding peaks were completely hidden by the clouds and it was pouring down rain.

We waited for the rain to let up a little and for the other two people in our party to show up before we set our tent. It was cool and dry inside the tent and we went to bed early to be up for our 345am start!

It was dark but dry when we woke up. We gathered our stuff and our group and headed out towards the mountains on the only trail we could find...

We hiked and hiked and hiked....then bushwhacked and hiked some more, then back tracked, bushwacked and hiked some more! Each one of us looking at our maps and trying to tell the other how to get to this particular ridge (Lions ledge) so that we could start the technical climbing.

Shaun has been mountaineering all of his life and I had/have 100% confidence in his ability. I trust him with my life. But even he could not find the route and was starting to wonder what the heck was going on!

Finally, at 9.5 hours of (strenuous) hiking, out of shear exhaustion we gave up and headed back down.

As we descended we noticed a very small detail that would have made all the difference in finding our route on Baboquivari! We noticed Baboquivari Peak! Out in the distance and over to the south by two peaks!! Yep, we hiked around all day on some other peak! This one:

It just goes to show, when we start out in the dark, we can get lost and try to make things fit. We can see things as we want them to be, try to force some similarities and think we see something we don't. We can cause ourselves a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering trying to navigate our way thinking we know where we are...

Sometimes, when we've tried and tried to make something fit, if we just step back and look at the situation for what it truly is, we might find, it really doesn't fit and the things we think we see aren't really there at all...in fact, we may actually be on the completely wrong mountain!

What a great experience. I hope I never have to duplicate!!

Conscious Contact

Some people call it meditation, some prayer, others call it "plugging in", or being fully present...

Whatever the semantics, its necessary.

How many of us actually take the time to consciously get in touch with whatever we believe in? Its an age old concept, and all who do it on a regular basis will tell us that they feel much more at peace, have more energy, are a lot less fearful, breath easier, rest easier, and have a greater sense of concentration... just to name a few of the benefits.

This seems like such an easy thing to ask of us in light of the payoffs but it can be one of the most difficult things for us to do...

But as we practice sitting quietly and listening(maybe for only a few minutes at time to begin with)We start to feel connected to that Something that lies beneath (or above) it all...maybe for you it's Nature, Chi, God, or Life...the name isn't so important. What is important is the experience.

The future and the past fade away and the reality of the present moment seeps in reminding us that we have everything we need in that moment. After a while this practice teaches us that we can feel this way at any given moment. It becomes easier to find a place of stillness, even in the most chaotic situation because we have been practicing and now we know how to tap into our individual strength.

I've been reminded of this recently and thought someone else out there might like the reminder...tap in to your source of strength regularly and try to improve your own individual conscious contact with what It is. Maybe even think of it as a form of preventive medicine...

"Seemingly" bad

I was meeting with a group of people last week and the woman who was speaking was talking about how she had a tendency, in the past, to think negatively when things weren't going the way she would like them to go. She had fought changes in her life and in the lives of the people that she loved. She would fight because, in her mind, she thought she could see what was best for her and her loved ones...

Of coarse, despite her best efforts to control things, events turned out differently than she wanted. She fought the whole way...stressing herself out, being an emotional wreck, arguing with herself and the people she cared about. She did this a number of times over a number of years and each time she made herself sick about each situation. Finally, the pain got bad enough for her and she got sick of fighting and gave up. She decided to try, one time, to just let "it" go (whatever the next "it" was). To stay out of the way, keep her opinions to herself, and let things happen the way they were going to. She decided to have a little faith.

Wouldn't you know it, she felt 100% better. She wasn't sick about "it" and she hadn't lost precious moments of her life living in the future...

She looked back at the past events she had been fighting and the outcomes that had occurred, and realized that everything had turn out just the way it was supposed to, even GREAT in some cases. Better than she would have created or expected. And in the cases that turned out to be "seemingly" bad, she decided to accept that she didn't have all the answers and couldn't possibly know what had to happen for everyone in each situation. Sometimes we have to go through the "seemingly" bad to get to the good.

What I got out of her sharing her experience is, what is "seemingly" bad is not necessarily so. I believe we need to do only what is in front of us, one decision at a time, and let go of the rest. We don't need to know what is going to happen or how things will turn out. So we let it go.

The only reason "the best indicator of the future is the past" is because we keep FORCING the past to be recreated.

Take a break. Let Life/God/Nature take over for a while. Just do your part as it relates to you in the moment and the rest will be GREAT, even better than we can imagine.

Its Not My Fault. Or is it?

It's funny how some of us do everything in our power to convince ourselves that our circumstances are not our fault. If only I had this or that...if only that person would have done this or that...if only...if only...

So many people live their entire lives never being present, never doing what is right in front of them. At any given moment we can decide that we are responsible for our happiness and make a new decision. Even if that decision is simply changing our mind about a situation.

The simplest answers are usually the right ones, and changing ANYTHING is really just that simple. All we have to do is decide that things are not going to be the same and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Think a different thought about a situation, about another person, or about ourselves.

I used to train dogs, and I believe people are not so different from them behaviorally. Dogs act a certain way because they have been given a certain response to their actions. We do the same thing. We act a certain way because we have been "conditioned" to act that way...whether we have conditioned ourselves or have been conditioned by our parents/society etc... doesn't matter. What really matters -and what makes us different from the dogs- is that we have the ability to reason. We have the ability to see that our actions are just a result of conditioning our thoughts.
So, all we really need to do is re-condition them. Choose to think differently. Believe whatever you want to believe. That's our gift here in the US. Freedom of choice and thought.

Just be careful what you choose to believe, whether it be about yourself or the world around you. Focus your intention on what you want to have happen NOT what hasn't happened...Or what might happen...There is more power in your reoccurring thoughts than we can even begin to comprehend.

Changing can be scary but I like to remind myself that no one really knows what this life is all about anyway. It's up to us to find our individual path and we each have our own set of customized tools inside of us to find and create it.

Never Look Back...Except this Time?

Have you ever left your life? No looking back. Just start over? I'm not really talking about doing it in a healthy way...more like forced change or running away from a situation?

The first time I did it I was told "if you leave here, don't expect to come running back". I was sixteen. The second time I did it, I got the distinct impression the person seeing me off was glad (or at least relieved!) to see me go. I was eighteen.

Since then I thought I had gotten used to changes. I was able to make them without too much hesitation. I was able to let go of the things I had and the life I was living with very little attachment. I would just "get a new one" if the current one wasn't working. No regrets! That was my goal. As a matter a fact, when I did make a change I usually ended up feeling pretty good about it and could eventually let the past go. BUT, I had come to accept "there was no going back".

Well another life change is on the horizon, the "healthy" kind this time. AND I AM SO EXCITED! But this time I am not so eager to give up what I have. For the first time in my life I have created the life I felt would suit me. I did it from scratch, with the help of God and some very gifted people. That's the thing...I have people around me who love me and who I love and respect very much. I have people who trust me and count on me and would actually be disappointed if I left for good.

This is a new an interesting place to be.

This time I don't have to leave for good. I am able to leave and go after my vision, but also to come back and apply what I have found to what I had.

Now I just need to get my heart and head around traveling both directions on the same path...after all I can find my way back now...just follow the path that has already been created.

Love is in the Air...

So I went to a wedding this weekend in Waynesville, NC. It was a small, very intimate wedding that involved only close friends and family.

I was very impressed by the love I felt there. Everyone seemed genuine and truly interested in being there...at one point during the weekend the bride and groom actually went around and introduced everyone who would be attending and involved in their ceremony. This was only about 45 people but it struck me how thoughtful this was for them to do...

I went to lunch with all of the bridesmaids and we did a similar, more detailed introduction...the happiness and openness that was expressed to each other was touching.

It was refreshing to see genuine love, happiness, openness and thoughtful-ness expressed in this way. I left feeling like I had actually made some new friends and strengthened my existing friendships.

Thank you and congratulations Mr & Mrs. Wahl!

Don't Believe It!

There is a collective opinion out there that people can't, don't or won't change... I'm here to tell you that this is a false statement. Don't believe it.

In the past six years I have been fortunate enough to watch so many people transform themselves and their lives, that I can't even count them.

This isn't just superficial change either...I am talking about a deep internal transformation.

Someone I respect very much was talking to me about how, in many cultures, when a child comes "of age" they take time to go inside themselves in order to bring out their true essence and enter into adulthood. This could be on a vision quest, in a sweat lodge or just spending time on their own with this intention in their minds. The information they have collected up until this age is sifted through and the opinions, advice and guidance that has been given to them are either integrated or discarded depending on how it rings true to their own unique person.

She also brought to my attention, that we miss this vital step here in our country, and as a result, we have a lot of people who do not understand who they are or what their unique gifts are. They end up confused and sometimes severely misdirected.
After all, it is frustrating, trying to find what is missing but not knowing what we are looking for.

I don't believe there is one specific way to "find yourself". In fact I believe there are as many ways to do this as there are people. What matters, is that you do. It is important not only for you but for the people around you. Each one of us needs the others unique gifts in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.

So....Don't believe it when someone tells you that people don't, can't or won't change. They do, can, and will. I see it everyday!

Oh Please...

I am painfully aware of just how much I want the people in my life to "be pleased" by my behavior these days. In the past I would have said "there is no way... I don't really care what people think". It would have been a lie of course but I wouldn't have known I was lying...

I have been praying for inner peace for a few years now and to understand and become the woman that God has made me to be. So in aswer to these prayers -which, for me, is a gradual thing- I receive new awarenesses of myself and the character traits that stand in my way of getting what I want.

The "theme" the past couple of months has been, embracing my uniqueness and giving up control.

For me this means embracing who I am and all of my unique characterisics and giving up the idea that I can please everyone around me.

Buyers Remorse?!

So I've sent in my NON REFUNDABLE check for my training, received my acceptance letter and have my tickets to Hawaii purchased....and now I am freaking out!!

All I have been doing this week is comparing myself to others and pointing out to myself where I am not measuring up. I pretend I know what others are thinking about me (as if everyone is thinking about me!) and none of it is good.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Perfectionism? Control? I think maybe I am just afraid. Afraid of failing AND afraid of succeeding...as crazy as that sounds... What if I actual get what I want? Then the measuring stick with be higher and I will have more expectations to live up to...(again with the people thinking about me!) What an ego I can have.

I just need to relax, let go and trust that I will have everything I need to handle whatever I am given.

If anyone has any tips to stay in that head space I would love to hear them!
Thanks!!

Its Official!

Well I received my "Welcome Packet" and Dialogue Book from Bikram's Yoga College last week! So I guess it's official. I have been accepted and am going!! Did I mention how excited I am?!

I have been getting a lot of feedback from different people, mostly positive, but not all.

It's interesting how I notice myself not giving as much weight to the opinions of others as I used to. I am trying to really listen to my inner guidance and go where I am lead. That doesn't mean I am not talking to the people who are important to me and who will be affected by the changes in my life...it just means that I am not basing my decisions, in regards to my vision, solely on the opinions of others. This is a big deal for me and I can feel my faith increasing the more I practice.

I am so grateful for this opportunity and I can't wait to share it with you! :)

Bikram's Yoga College of India

Change, change, change....all kinds of new changes are coming my way and while I have been and can get apprehensive; I am trying to remember that "change equals life" :) and if I am truly living then I am also growing and changing!
So.................

I have put together my packet and am sending it out TODAY, to attend Bikram's Yoga College of India, Teacher's Training in Honolulu, Hawaii.
This is an extremely intense course. It is 9 weeks long, 6 days/week, and 12+ hours per day. It's not only the physical aspect that is intense (and with 300 students in the class!) but there is the Indian philosophy behind it, the histories of different types of yoga, as well as the anatomy and physiology of it. Not to mention the dialogue, memorization of 26 postures and 2 breathing excersize which all have to be spoken fluidly within 90 minutes to Bikram's satisfaction! So, what's the big deal right?!

I am so excited and anxious to go. I am hoping this experience will be life changing for me and that I will come out the other side of it, grateful for the opportunity, and with much more awareness physically, spiritually, and mentally.

Here is the link if anyone is interested in checking it out:
http://www.bikramyoga.com/

Namaste

The Power of Opinion

So, I have recently come to focus on just how much we -both as individuals and as a society- are influenced by the opinions of others. Especially those we love and respect, but certainly not limited soley to them. Complete strangers can just as easily influence us.

How many people do you think are out there that -first of all- know who they are and what they want out of life, and secondly are doing exactly what they want to do and getting what they want out life? I would wager the number is sadly, very low.

If only we could find it within ourselves to accept and love all of who we are and learn to love and embrace the differences in each other. Instead, so many of us spend our time in fear, trying to try to rid ourselves of the very things that make us unique. I don't know about you all, but it's getting pretty boring -not to mention suffocating- living in "Same Town, USA".

I believe the key must be truly knowing who we are first "warts AND beauty marks" and then accepting all of ourselves as spiritual beings and therefore good. It's only then that we can fully reach our potential and break the chains that have been built by countless opinion and projection from others (real or perceived).

So... for what it is worth and in my opinion, you are absolutely perfect, just the way you are. Express it.

Stanely Burroughs Master Cleanser

If you are interested in a detoxifying cleanse for your body then I recommend the "Master Cleanser" by Stanley Burroughs.

Some misdirected folks (in my opinion) have coined this "The Lemonade Diet" but according to Burroughs himself...THIS IS NOT A DIET. If your goal is to loose weight rapidly then there are many other "products" out there to accomplish this task.

The Master Cleanser is designed to detoxify the body. It consists of organic lemon juice, spring water, cayenne pepper and organic maple syrup.

The lemon juice acts as an astringent and gets into the joints of the body to clean up calcium deposits and "toxic build up" that has accumulated there. The cayenne pepper works to keep the body warm during the cleanse and to help keep the metabolism up. The maple syrup is the nutritional part, providing energy as well as essential vitamins and minerals.
This cleanse gives the liver and digestive system a much needed break and a fresh start as years of toxic build up are released from the intestines and colon.

Burroughs states in his book "The basic cause (of dis-ease) is the habits of improper diet, inadequate exercise, negative mental attitudes, and lack of spiritual attunement which combine to produce toxic conditions and malfunction of our bodies. The elimination of the cause of illness is the obvious and only way to healing and health".

I have done this cleanse for as long as 10 days and know people who have done 14 days, all with very positive results.

I am currently on day 3 of my 4th cleanse and while it can be VERY challenging it is also so rewarding.

To check out this book on line you can go to:

http://www.geocities.com/hotsprings/spa/7244/master_cleanse.html

Do you know you?

How many people out there actually can answer the question, "who are you?" or "tell me about yourself", in detail?

I have been talking with some women lately who are unaware of who they are, what they like, and why they do what they do. It seems this is a common condition in society. Many people simply look to someone else to define them. They will see some trait or characteristic in someone else that they admire or think is "acceptable" and try to emulate it. Even if the trait doesn't suit their naturally given personality.

I decided one day to write down all of the things I would do if I had no limitations. This was a good way to get started in finding out what I like to do and what interests I have. Then I wrote down a list of all the things I would do for myself, if I was trying to get me, to fall in love with myself. It was a very nurturing excersize. I actually have gone down the list and have done those things for myself and have treated myself the way I would want others to treat me.

Its funny but we overlook this I think.
We get caught up in treating others well, or doing for others but neglect ourselves or treat ourselves poorly. We can't be of service to anyone else if we don't understand and take care of ourselves....how will we ever know what we have to offer?

I believe that when we know who we are, we are honoring our Creator and are available to use each and every gift that has been given to us to help others.

So....Do you know who you are?

Questions... Answers?

1. Why is it so hard to achieve some goals and so easy to achieve others...? and why does the degree of difficulty vary from person to person?
It seems like there are some goals that I set -while they are difficult in concept- I simply just accept and achieve them; everything falls into place and there it is, done. Then there are others goals -seemingly more simple- that take all of my focus and energy to bring into being...

2. Why is it that some people just automatically lean toward positivity while others have tendencies to be more skeptical instinctually? Is it inate or learned?
I know people that have a positive response or "spin" on everything that they do or say...it is as natural as breathing to them. Then there is someone like me, I go to the negative side first and have to work my way to the positive...

3. If Love is at the center of everything and the strongest emotion...why does it seem to give way to fear so easily?
It seems like people are fighting to find love and express it and to get rid of their fears. Every respected spiritual person I've spoken to has the opinion that Love is stonger, and this is is also my opinion, however the initial response to things seems to be fear, both individually and collectively...

Anyone???

Temper Tantrum

I don't know about you, but I have been spending a lot of my time lately with the words "I want, what I want, when I want it" running through my head....

I know it sounds immature, but it is what it is.
I have been put in a number of situations recently, that have required me to delay instant gratification; and the emotions that are stirred because of it have been uncomfortable for me to feel. Even the positive emotions like, excitement, anticipation, joy etc... are difficult.

At first I didn't know that this was the problem, but as time has passed and I continued to avoid feeling the emotions as they came up, I found myself becoming more and more uncomfortable, inside and OUT!

The other day -while I was stewing about what I wanted and how I had to wait for it- I was also trying to find a way to console myself.... Unfortunately my references for doing this in the past haven't always been positive... but I don't drink or smoke anymore, and I really didn't want to deal with the consequences of finding a nice comforting dessert to eat...
So, I was just stewing. That was when the light bulb went off. (Now, I realize for some of you this next part would hardly be an epiphany. But that's exactly what it was for me...)

This thought went through my head, "I don't need comfort from anything external. I just need to let the emotion come up, feel it, have a little faith and let it go."

There's a novel idea right? Well, a good friend of mine has been telling me this for a while now...and I understood it intellectually. But it had to come from within me, as a solution, at exactly the right time, in order for me to actually FEEL it.

Well, that is what happened. So, thanks Kim, I am so grateful.

I will try to remember that feeling uncomfortable is a part of Life sometimes, that all of my emotions are God given, and that they will pass when I accept them.

This has been a great learning experience and has opened yet another door for me.

Change

The only constant thing in life is change.
Embrace it and allow Life's gifts to be provided to you. So many of us give up to fear just before the miracle happens...what if we pushed through it in faith? The times I've been able to manage it, the outcome has been far more positive than I could have ever imagined.

C: courage
H: hope
A: acceptance
N: NOW
G: god
E: eternal

God's got mad skills

Things have been crazy for me the past couple of months...I've felt like there was so much going on I didn't know what to write...but, after reading my friend's blogspot (kimberlykingsley.com), I was inspired.

Kim was talking about manifestation... this got me thinking about what is happening in my life and how it is all "panning" out. The things that are happeining are a direct result of my desire to manifest them. I have been very aware of what I have been "putting out there" this past year...careful not to be too specific and to go with the flow in faith, that what comes in will be better than I could imagine. And so that has been the case. What has come in is better than I could have ever imagined it to be.

Kim's blog was a wake up call for me though because I was "slipping" back into fear a little bit. I was starting to entertain -in very specific detail- how I wanted things to go in my life. Thankfully, I am aware of it now and can slow down, recapture my faith and let God work it all out in spectacular detail. He is afterall, the one with the mad creation skills :)
All I am going to do is the next thing in front of me and try to tune in to that internal source of direction.

Thanks Kim! And God Bless.

Drama Mama

The world loves a little (or a lot) of drama doesn't it? We are bombarded with pressure to come up with it for all kinds of reasons...money, fame, attention, pity, even love....

I find that I am less comfortable contributing to the drama of life these days, but sometimes I like the distraction it presents for me from whatever I need to take a look at within myself.
I need the distractions some days because I can get afraid of what is happening in my life and can let my faith in future fade...

I have a new goal...to remember that faith and fear are both action words and these are two sides of the same coin. I get to choose on a daily basis which one I will spend on whatever comes up. If I buy into fear I get drama. If I buy into faith I get peace.

Why do the simplest concepts seems the most difficult to apply?