Finding your Voice

It seems as though there is an epidemic out there of people who have so much to say but hold it all inside themselves... I'm not talking just about verbal expression, I mean expression in their work, in their relationships, and in their basic everyday lives.
Society as a whole (at least American society) is conditioned to conform to the "norm" -whatever that is. Then there is the other extreme, the people who know they don't want to conform to the "normal" way of living and try as hard as they can to be different. Which in my opinion is simply conforming to the abnormal.

Finding our own individual voices and expressing our own individual likes and dislikes can be a challenging process, especially as the expression involves opening more of our hearts. What a gift to be able to do this... Realizing that each and everyone one of us are unique and different is what makes our relations to other people so valuable. We would never learn from each other if we all knew the same things. We cannot share our experiences, thoughts, philosophy, humor, strength, humiliations, etc...if we are all doing the same things, thinking the same things, believing the same things, and trying to achieve the same goals.

I believe its important to figure out what your own opinion of your own experience is. It may seem as though this is a given, you might say,"Of coarse I know what my opinion is!" ...but think about it, do you know? Is it yours? Or have your opinions been given to you, subtly over time?

I am not saying there aren't many out there who express who they truly are. I know some of you well and I admire and love you for it. You have been my inspiration. Thank you.

The Bikram Method

Bikram Choudhury gets a lot of crap for requesting and receiving a copyright for the 26 Hatha yoga postures and 2 breathing exercises used in his Bikram's Beginning Yoga Class. He has a copyright, not on the postures themselves -they are over 6000 years old- but the actual order and timing of the ones he has chosen to put into his class.

These postures and this order have been (and continue to be) researched. This is why he has had them copyrighted. He and his wife Rajashree with the help of doctors at UCLA, along with many others, have had ongoing research to indicate and validate the medical benefits of this method of yoga. As they continue to expand their research avenues, they in turn help many people who have been lost to western medicine ideas of "symptom management" for injuries as well as acute and chronic diseases.

I originally started doing this yoga to keep my upper body loose and to avoid chronic overuse injuries that are common in my profession. I have since learned that many others have come to Bikram yoga and found relief from a spectrum of diseases and other disabilities such as: diabetes, hyper/hypothyroidism, colitis, IBS, liver disorders, pancreatic disorders, blood diseased, cardiovascular disorders, pulmonary disorders, obesity, drug/alcohol detoxification and recovery...the list goes on and on.

I feel I am blessed to be a part of a group that is looking to help people take control of their physical bodies and their minds, in order tap into their spirit and facilitate their own healing. It is comforting to know that the stats are stacking up in favor of Bikram's method of yoga.

For the skeptics out there who think all you do in yoga is sit around and chant "OM"... I challenge you to take charge of your life and your health. Check out this specific kind of yoga; Bikram's Beginning Yoga. You will unlock the door to long life, superior physical health, renewed mental clarity and emotional freedom. And if none of those reasons motivate you to try it...I will personally guarantee that AT THE VERY LEAST, you will get a kick ass workout!

Little Miss Independent

I have mentioned how this training is helping to rapidly release ideas, beliefs, and concepts that people have had for a long time, by opening up the body and bringing it back -as near as possible- to its original state.

For a long time I have believed that it isn't good to be so independent. What I am finding out is this isn't necessarily my belief. I accepted this "suggestion" as it has was placed in my head by people I wanted to please, maybe by people that I have admired, or possibly by the media (heck, maybe all of the above!)... at any rate, what I am finding out is, it is good to be and to express my independence.

Independence is a useful gift and ultimately we all have everything we need right inside of ourselves, to sustain us, comfort us, bring us joy, and calm the storms when they come up.

This doesn't mean I think we should all be alone, other people are also gifts and each relationship has a special purpose. However, I do believe each person is on their own personal journey. Fortunately for us, people continually walk along the same paths, sometimes for years at a time and sometimes only for a minute...I believe we help each other to find the strength within ourselves to express who we are.

Relationships are wonderful, exciting and special gifts; but each one is temporary. Knowing this gives me the freedom to be myself and to love other people for who they are. Respecting that each one of us has to travel our own individual road; to FREEDOM.

Peeling Back the Layers

This week we had a lecture from Jon Burras (Certified Yoga Teacher, Certified Yoga Therapist, Certified Bodyworker, Certified Body/mind Therapist, Certified Wellness Consultant).

He spoke to us about the connection between connective tissue (fascia) and emotion. This was very interesting to me as a fellow bodyworker...

The idea is, each specific physical and emotional "incident" is stored in the connective tissue throughout the body. For example, if as a child you fell off your bike and twisted your ankle; in addition to the physical changes in the connective tissue of the ankle, the emotion around the event will be stored in the body as well.

Lets say you were told to "toughen up, and stop crying" when this happened and you learned to stuff your emotions and distrust that you would be supported in the future if you cried when something painful happened to you. You file that experience away as "information" in your body and mind. Then years later, when you are on a massage table, and the massage therapist is working on your "problem" ankle, you start to cry but don't know why...

It is because, each little incident stores in the body, collects and weights us down. This causes us to age prematurely.

So the massage releases the connective tissue as well as the emotion. Yoga does this as well. Yoga stretches and releases the connective tissue -especially when you do it twice a day in a very hot room!

I have experienced this first hand on a regular basis during this training and to a lesser degree on the massage table...what a powerful combination. I've seen eighty year old yogis come in to teach us that look 30 years younger than they are. I believe this is because they are releasing -on a regular basis-all of the "stuff" that weights them down and ages them.

Personally, I feel lighter and younger than I have felt in quite a while. I feel like I am peeling back the layers (of connective tissue!) and releasing the weights that were slowly trying to kill me.

http://www.jonburras.com/

"Calm the Wind and the Storm Ceases."

I have been learning a lot about breath and breathing here. Truth be told, I have been hearing a lot about it since I started yoga, but it seems as though I am finally listening.

My teachers at home would say "there is nothing to do but breathe", "let the body open up with the breathe" or "go deeper with each breath", and I would hear them and think what they were saying "sounded good", but that was about as far as I got.

I am finally learning exactly what the breath can do for our bodies. First of all, we cannot live with out it. It is the most important thing to us for sustaining life. Yes, even more important than water. If we aren't breathing then we certainly aren't drinking anything! Secondly, we can control our physiological responses with our breath...we can slow our heart rates down or speed them up simply by taking long deep breaths or fast quick breaths (try it and see what happens).

This is a very important technique to learn in our fast paced, high stress societies. We can give our over stressed hearts and lungs a much needed break and prevent diseases just by training our minds/bodies to breathe deep in a stressful situation.

The fast track to learning this technique is, of coarse, yoga; and Bikram yoga specifically. Put yourself in a heated room for 90 minutes doing intense Hatha yoga and try to breath slow and deep (normally) the whole time, do this on a consistent basis. Then, when you are in traffic, not moving, and need to be somewhere in 5 minutes...you will be able to roll with it. You (and your body) will automatically realize; there is nothing to do but breathe".

Get Over Yourself and Get into IT!

So I have decided the "theme" of my training experience here is "Get Over Yourself". I didn't realize just how many patterns/habits I have that keep me stuck and limit my experiences until I got got here and started to actually try to teach this yoga.

I work in a service industry, I am involved in a service group, and now I am learning to teach (really teach) others. It seems as though it's all about acceptance, being open, and able to go with the flow.

When I accept what is happening as a personal choice, stay open to God, the Universe, the Cosmos...etc, to deliver the answers and strength, and just do the next thing that comes up with a willing heart and strong determination, things change.

The most important thing I can do in this process is stay out of my own way, get over myself and GET INTO IT! Who cares if I am not perfect (I suspect no one will be surprised!) and who cares if I "make a fool out of myself"...it adds character. And if someone -god forbid- doesn't like me, well then I think they are probably not the first and will not be the last. Maybe I can at least be a good reflection for them.

So my new mantra for now is: GET OVER YOURSELF AND GET INTO IT!

Break Down to Break Through

This week has been all about breaking out of my limiting beliefs and re-enforcing new behavior patterns...

It started on Monday when I got to my morning class. I went to stretch up in Half Moon pose and realized that my body was killing me. I hadn't really done anything on Sunday and I was hoping that would help my body to recover but that was NOT the case.

Anyway, I started freaking out a little...telling myself that this was crazy, that they might not know what they are doing here, I can't do this and maybe I should just go home. All I wanted to do was go home.

Well those thoughts opened up the flood gates for more tears to come, and this time they didn't stop. I cried pretty much throughout the day. It was the strangest thing, sitting and listening to my lectures and participating in our clinics while tears streamed down my face. I just let them come quietly and tried not to create any drama for anyone else. At times I had to go to the bathroom and sob uncontrollably only to return to class ready to listen and participate once again.

Although it was a very tough day, I realized some important things about myself and about human nature. We all have patterns in our life that we re-enforce on a daily basis and when we are forced outside of our patterns and beyond what we feel we are capable of doing, fear sets in. Fortunately I now know, if I just keep going straight through the fear, the gift on the other side is amazing. It's self-realization.

I didn't quit. I didn't go home. I pushed through and did what I didn't think I could do. I didn't give the negativity enough power to stop me and I didn't stuff it either. I did my best not to judge how I was feeling and just let it pass through me. This was an uncomfortable process and I didn't enjoy it when it was happening. But I have to say it was completely worth it and I have a feeling this is only the tip of the iceberg.

The Yoga

Ok so, I am in the middle of my third week here at Bikram's Yoga Teacher Training and I have finally stopped crying in class! It's not like I was balling uncontrollably or anything but a few tears were coming out every class up until Monday. I had a terrible cold last week -as a told you before- and now am feeling much better. My practice is getting stronger and stronger with every class and I am getting more and more sore with every class!

During my class last night, at the end, in final Savasana, I had a rainbow of color wash over my closed eyes...bright green, orange, purple and red. I don't know what it means...some say it the opening of Chakras (energy centers)...it may very well be. I feel more open and grounded than I have ever felt in my life. As it is with all feelings, this one will eventually pass I am sure, so I am going to try to stay aware of it and grateful for it as long as possible!

The Middle Path

This week has been a tough one for me. We have been going from 8 o'clock AM until 1 o'clock AM most of the days I've been here. The earliest we've gotten out is 11:30PM. I ended up getting really sick with a head and chest cold that is going around.

I have a tendency to be an all or nothing type of person so my old pattern would be go, go, go, push, push, push, until I can't go anymore and then stop completely and recuperate. This was not an option here. I was expected to continue taking my classes and attending my lectures even though I wasn't feeling well. It was suggested that I listen closely to my body and work though the cold. I found myself getting upset because that was not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to be told "yes, you have a fever, you need to go up to your room and get some rest". Instead I was asked to do as much as I could during my classes and ultimately, if I needed to leave or miss class, I would have to make up the time missed with additional classes.

Now, I decided before I left for this training that I was going to trust this process, these people and God to lead me through the experiences that came to me. So I accepted my situation and went to all my classes and lectures. I did the very best I could, and wouldn't you know it, I am feeling better and I learned a little something important about myself.

There is a middle path between all and nothing. I just needed to work within my current situation and do my 100% best for that day, regardless of my fears. If what I am doing doesn't look like it did yesterday, or what I think it "should" look like, then that is perfectly alright...it doesn't matter, so long as I give 100% to each experience.

That said, I am so grateful for my health and very happy to be feeling better again!

Emotional Evacuation!

Today I became aware of the body's ability to innately use emotions to heal the body.

When I first got to training it was suggested that we drink one liter of water about 45 minutes before class to hydrate and give ourselves enough time to eliminate the excess. Today I tried that and it turn out to be a disaster!

It is HIGHLY discouraged to leave the room during an actual yoga class, in fact you will be stopped, asked why you are leaving, and if it is not an emergency, you will be sent back to your mat.

So of coarse, I had to go to the bathroom about two postures into class. I was doing the mental part of it, trying to detach and hoping I would sweat it out...believe me I was sweating!! But by the time I got to the floor series it was overwhelming. I was actually crying. I thought maybe I was having an emotional release -and maybe part of it was- but I kept thinking to myself "I am crying because my body is trying to help me get rid of the excess water".

I finally -at about 105 minutes into it- had enough, got up and walked to the back of the room, asked to be excused, and ran top speed to the bathroom! I was back in before the next posture began, relieved and ready to continue.

What an amazing machine, our body. Had I let myself go and sob uncontrollably, would I have no longer had to go to the bathroom? At this point I am grateful for the experience and the awareness. Needless to say I will not be drinking a liter of water 45 minutes before class again! Nor will I wait until I am crying to excuse myself!

Jump out of the well!

Bikram told us this story he heard when he was five years old about a frog that was living inside of a well. This is not exactly the way it was told to us but it is close...

A frog had jumped into a well and could not get out. He was bored and wondering if this was all there was to his life when a man came along and told him that this was not all there was and that this was only a well! He told the frog that there was a whole ocean out there! The frog didn't understand but wanted to know more, so the man picked up the frog and put him in the ocean.

At first he couldn't believe how big and beautiful the ocean was! But then the current started carrying the frog here and there, and some of the waves were really big...he started to get a little scared because he was not sure where he was going or what might happen to him. The frog started to panic and asked the man to put him back in the well where he felt safe.

So the man returned him to his well and the frog was so happy because in the well he could see the walls around him and knew what to expect. He felt safe. But, in just a short while, the frog was unhappy again, bored and alone, wondering if this was all there was to life. He had forgotten about the ocean and the opportunity that was given to him.

This training is about bringing down some of the walls I have constructed around myself that make me feel safe. Its about stepping out of the well and into my life. Letting life take me where the current leads me, about being open to new opportunities and experiences, and letting faith not fear guide me.

Bikram Choudhury

Well I've made it to Honolulu and the training has started. There is so much to say about this training but I decided to write my first blog about the man himself, Bikram Choudhury.

I have to admit I was a little nervous and very excited to meet him. I had heard he can be very critical and that he is not at all politically correct. Truth be told... so far he is living up to those descriptions. On the flip side of that coin though, he has the most genuine smile and the kindest eyes of any human being I have ever met. There is something calming about him. He is grounded, very open, honest and does not personalize any judgement he or anyone else makes. So... I have to say, I like him.

He randomly breaks out into song and dance whenever he feels like it, whether it is during a yoga class or a lecture. He will go off on a tangent about one of his famous friends or his expensive cars and is able come back around to his point using a wonderful metaphor or a story his guru told him. He says whatever he feels like he needs to say, some of it is insightful and inspiring and some of it is rude, crude and offensive. As he would say "there is much gold to be mined through all the dirt".

Its kind of refreshing really; to have someone around who is not afraid of any part of himself or anyone else. I am looking forward to learning much more from him.

Feel the JOY

Much of what I write about is over coming something... I thought I would take a second to remind myself how good it feels to let the joy in!

It's time to feel excited and joyful for all of the wonderful gifts Life has to offer!

Have you felt your joy lately? Open up to it, let it rise up and bubble over and out to the people around you...think of it as your gift to them.

He Didn't Bring You This Far...

to drop you on your butt...

I was talking with a very good friend of mine this morning about having faith that things will work out ok. She's going through some trying times and believes she is being punished in order to learn a lesson...

I just cannot believe that. It seems to me if God (or whatever you name it) is supposed to be Love then this just isn't possible. I think we are responsible for the amount of suffering and fear we feel. We can change our attitude at anytime. We can look at the present moment and see what it is we are lacking and in most cases we will find there is nothing we need right NOW. Maybe we don't have everything we want or think we need for the future but we are taken care of in that moment.

Its funny too because as the moments change and new needs for each moment present themselves...the solution will usually presents itself as well... For me there has always seemed to be just enough of whatever I needed at the time. Maybe not as much as I may have wanted or thought I needed, but enough never-the-less.

I just need to remember to be grateful for what I do have and not be too hard on myself for being human and messing up, then I need to let God do what He does best and have a little faith that I will be taken care of, no matter what I've done.

The Final Countdown!!

Well my Bikram's Yoga teacher training is less than one week away!

I have been going back and forth between excitement and fear...excited to go but fearful to leave... but I have been blessed to have the two best people -in my mind- to entrust the care of what I have created here both professionally and personally to rely on to take care of things while I am away. So, as usual, the fear part is not really necessary. I guess that only leaves time for the excitement part!!!

I will keep up with my postings for those who are interested in what goes on during something like this! I am trying to have very little expectations around what is going to happen. I guess the only real expectation I have is that I will be changed by the experience.

Rocks in the Desert

All summer Shaun and I have been hiking and climbing around in different areas of Arizona.

This weekend we headed down towards Sells, AZ to hike and rock climb Baboquivari Peak (the peak sticking out behind the two others in the photo). We planned out our route and printed out all the needed maps and info, packed up all our gear, food, tent etc...

We left Phoenix on Saturday eve, a little later than we planned and pulled into the campground just as it was getting dark. All of the surrounding peaks were completely hidden by the clouds and it was pouring down rain.

We waited for the rain to let up a little and for the other two people in our party to show up before we set our tent. It was cool and dry inside the tent and we went to bed early to be up for our 345am start!

It was dark but dry when we woke up. We gathered our stuff and our group and headed out towards the mountains on the only trail we could find...

We hiked and hiked and hiked....then bushwhacked and hiked some more, then back tracked, bushwacked and hiked some more! Each one of us looking at our maps and trying to tell the other how to get to this particular ridge (Lions ledge) so that we could start the technical climbing.

Shaun has been mountaineering all of his life and I had/have 100% confidence in his ability. I trust him with my life. But even he could not find the route and was starting to wonder what the heck was going on!

Finally, at 9.5 hours of (strenuous) hiking, out of shear exhaustion we gave up and headed back down.

As we descended we noticed a very small detail that would have made all the difference in finding our route on Baboquivari! We noticed Baboquivari Peak! Out in the distance and over to the south by two peaks!! Yep, we hiked around all day on some other peak! This one:

It just goes to show, when we start out in the dark, we can get lost and try to make things fit. We can see things as we want them to be, try to force some similarities and think we see something we don't. We can cause ourselves a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering trying to navigate our way thinking we know where we are...

Sometimes, when we've tried and tried to make something fit, if we just step back and look at the situation for what it truly is, we might find, it really doesn't fit and the things we think we see aren't really there at all...in fact, we may actually be on the completely wrong mountain!

What a great experience. I hope I never have to duplicate!!

Conscious Contact

Some people call it meditation, some prayer, others call it "plugging in", or being fully present...

Whatever the semantics, its necessary.

How many of us actually take the time to consciously get in touch with whatever we believe in? Its an age old concept, and all who do it on a regular basis will tell us that they feel much more at peace, have more energy, are a lot less fearful, breath easier, rest easier, and have a greater sense of concentration... just to name a few of the benefits.

This seems like such an easy thing to ask of us in light of the payoffs but it can be one of the most difficult things for us to do...

But as we practice sitting quietly and listening(maybe for only a few minutes at time to begin with)We start to feel connected to that Something that lies beneath (or above) it all...maybe for you it's Nature, Chi, God, or Life...the name isn't so important. What is important is the experience.

The future and the past fade away and the reality of the present moment seeps in reminding us that we have everything we need in that moment. After a while this practice teaches us that we can feel this way at any given moment. It becomes easier to find a place of stillness, even in the most chaotic situation because we have been practicing and now we know how to tap into our individual strength.

I've been reminded of this recently and thought someone else out there might like the reminder...tap in to your source of strength regularly and try to improve your own individual conscious contact with what It is. Maybe even think of it as a form of preventive medicine...

"Seemingly" bad

I was meeting with a group of people last week and the woman who was speaking was talking about how she had a tendency, in the past, to think negatively when things weren't going the way she would like them to go. She had fought changes in her life and in the lives of the people that she loved. She would fight because, in her mind, she thought she could see what was best for her and her loved ones...

Of coarse, despite her best efforts to control things, events turned out differently than she wanted. She fought the whole way...stressing herself out, being an emotional wreck, arguing with herself and the people she cared about. She did this a number of times over a number of years and each time she made herself sick about each situation. Finally, the pain got bad enough for her and she got sick of fighting and gave up. She decided to try, one time, to just let "it" go (whatever the next "it" was). To stay out of the way, keep her opinions to herself, and let things happen the way they were going to. She decided to have a little faith.

Wouldn't you know it, she felt 100% better. She wasn't sick about "it" and she hadn't lost precious moments of her life living in the future...

She looked back at the past events she had been fighting and the outcomes that had occurred, and realized that everything had turn out just the way it was supposed to, even GREAT in some cases. Better than she would have created or expected. And in the cases that turned out to be "seemingly" bad, she decided to accept that she didn't have all the answers and couldn't possibly know what had to happen for everyone in each situation. Sometimes we have to go through the "seemingly" bad to get to the good.

What I got out of her sharing her experience is, what is "seemingly" bad is not necessarily so. I believe we need to do only what is in front of us, one decision at a time, and let go of the rest. We don't need to know what is going to happen or how things will turn out. So we let it go.

The only reason "the best indicator of the future is the past" is because we keep FORCING the past to be recreated.

Take a break. Let Life/God/Nature take over for a while. Just do your part as it relates to you in the moment and the rest will be GREAT, even better than we can imagine.

Its Not My Fault. Or is it?

It's funny how some of us do everything in our power to convince ourselves that our circumstances are not our fault. If only I had this or that...if only that person would have done this or that...if only...if only...

So many people live their entire lives never being present, never doing what is right in front of them. At any given moment we can decide that we are responsible for our happiness and make a new decision. Even if that decision is simply changing our mind about a situation.

The simplest answers are usually the right ones, and changing ANYTHING is really just that simple. All we have to do is decide that things are not going to be the same and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Think a different thought about a situation, about another person, or about ourselves.

I used to train dogs, and I believe people are not so different from them behaviorally. Dogs act a certain way because they have been given a certain response to their actions. We do the same thing. We act a certain way because we have been "conditioned" to act that way...whether we have conditioned ourselves or have been conditioned by our parents/society etc... doesn't matter. What really matters -and what makes us different from the dogs- is that we have the ability to reason. We have the ability to see that our actions are just a result of conditioning our thoughts.
So, all we really need to do is re-condition them. Choose to think differently. Believe whatever you want to believe. That's our gift here in the US. Freedom of choice and thought.

Just be careful what you choose to believe, whether it be about yourself or the world around you. Focus your intention on what you want to have happen NOT what hasn't happened...Or what might happen...There is more power in your reoccurring thoughts than we can even begin to comprehend.

Changing can be scary but I like to remind myself that no one really knows what this life is all about anyway. It's up to us to find our individual path and we each have our own set of customized tools inside of us to find and create it.

Never Look Back...Except this Time?

Have you ever left your life? No looking back. Just start over? I'm not really talking about doing it in a healthy way...more like forced change or running away from a situation?

The first time I did it I was told "if you leave here, don't expect to come running back". I was sixteen. The second time I did it, I got the distinct impression the person seeing me off was glad (or at least relieved!) to see me go. I was eighteen.

Since then I thought I had gotten used to changes. I was able to make them without too much hesitation. I was able to let go of the things I had and the life I was living with very little attachment. I would just "get a new one" if the current one wasn't working. No regrets! That was my goal. As a matter a fact, when I did make a change I usually ended up feeling pretty good about it and could eventually let the past go. BUT, I had come to accept "there was no going back".

Well another life change is on the horizon, the "healthy" kind this time. AND I AM SO EXCITED! But this time I am not so eager to give up what I have. For the first time in my life I have created the life I felt would suit me. I did it from scratch, with the help of God and some very gifted people. That's the thing...I have people around me who love me and who I love and respect very much. I have people who trust me and count on me and would actually be disappointed if I left for good.

This is a new an interesting place to be.

This time I don't have to leave for good. I am able to leave and go after my vision, but also to come back and apply what I have found to what I had.

Now I just need to get my heart and head around traveling both directions on the same path...after all I can find my way back now...just follow the path that has already been created.

Love is in the Air...

So I went to a wedding this weekend in Waynesville, NC. It was a small, very intimate wedding that involved only close friends and family.

I was very impressed by the love I felt there. Everyone seemed genuine and truly interested in being there...at one point during the weekend the bride and groom actually went around and introduced everyone who would be attending and involved in their ceremony. This was only about 45 people but it struck me how thoughtful this was for them to do...

I went to lunch with all of the bridesmaids and we did a similar, more detailed introduction...the happiness and openness that was expressed to each other was touching.

It was refreshing to see genuine love, happiness, openness and thoughtful-ness expressed in this way. I left feeling like I had actually made some new friends and strengthened my existing friendships.

Thank you and congratulations Mr & Mrs. Wahl!

Don't Believe It!

There is a collective opinion out there that people can't, don't or won't change... I'm here to tell you that this is a false statement. Don't believe it.

In the past six years I have been fortunate enough to watch so many people transform themselves and their lives, that I can't even count them.

This isn't just superficial change either...I am talking about a deep internal transformation.

Someone I respect very much was talking to me about how, in many cultures, when a child comes "of age" they take time to go inside themselves in order to bring out their true essence and enter into adulthood. This could be on a vision quest, in a sweat lodge or just spending time on their own with this intention in their minds. The information they have collected up until this age is sifted through and the opinions, advice and guidance that has been given to them are either integrated or discarded depending on how it rings true to their own unique person.

She also brought to my attention, that we miss this vital step here in our country, and as a result, we have a lot of people who do not understand who they are or what their unique gifts are. They end up confused and sometimes severely misdirected.
After all, it is frustrating, trying to find what is missing but not knowing what we are looking for.

I don't believe there is one specific way to "find yourself". In fact I believe there are as many ways to do this as there are people. What matters, is that you do. It is important not only for you but for the people around you. Each one of us needs the others unique gifts in ways we can't even begin to comprehend.

So....Don't believe it when someone tells you that people don't, can't or won't change. They do, can, and will. I see it everyday!

Oh Please...

I am painfully aware of just how much I want the people in my life to "be pleased" by my behavior these days. In the past I would have said "there is no way... I don't really care what people think". It would have been a lie of course but I wouldn't have known I was lying...

I have been praying for inner peace for a few years now and to understand and become the woman that God has made me to be. So in aswer to these prayers -which, for me, is a gradual thing- I receive new awarenesses of myself and the character traits that stand in my way of getting what I want.

The "theme" the past couple of months has been, embracing my uniqueness and giving up control.

For me this means embracing who I am and all of my unique characterisics and giving up the idea that I can please everyone around me.

Buyers Remorse?!

So I've sent in my NON REFUNDABLE check for my training, received my acceptance letter and have my tickets to Hawaii purchased....and now I am freaking out!!

All I have been doing this week is comparing myself to others and pointing out to myself where I am not measuring up. I pretend I know what others are thinking about me (as if everyone is thinking about me!) and none of it is good.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Perfectionism? Control? I think maybe I am just afraid. Afraid of failing AND afraid of succeeding...as crazy as that sounds... What if I actual get what I want? Then the measuring stick with be higher and I will have more expectations to live up to...(again with the people thinking about me!) What an ego I can have.

I just need to relax, let go and trust that I will have everything I need to handle whatever I am given.

If anyone has any tips to stay in that head space I would love to hear them!
Thanks!!

Its Official!

Well I received my "Welcome Packet" and Dialogue Book from Bikram's Yoga College last week! So I guess it's official. I have been accepted and am going!! Did I mention how excited I am?!

I have been getting a lot of feedback from different people, mostly positive, but not all.

It's interesting how I notice myself not giving as much weight to the opinions of others as I used to. I am trying to really listen to my inner guidance and go where I am lead. That doesn't mean I am not talking to the people who are important to me and who will be affected by the changes in my life...it just means that I am not basing my decisions, in regards to my vision, solely on the opinions of others. This is a big deal for me and I can feel my faith increasing the more I practice.

I am so grateful for this opportunity and I can't wait to share it with you! :)

Bikram's Yoga College of India

Change, change, change....all kinds of new changes are coming my way and while I have been and can get apprehensive; I am trying to remember that "change equals life" :) and if I am truly living then I am also growing and changing!
So.................

I have put together my packet and am sending it out TODAY, to attend Bikram's Yoga College of India, Teacher's Training in Honolulu, Hawaii.
This is an extremely intense course. It is 9 weeks long, 6 days/week, and 12+ hours per day. It's not only the physical aspect that is intense (and with 300 students in the class!) but there is the Indian philosophy behind it, the histories of different types of yoga, as well as the anatomy and physiology of it. Not to mention the dialogue, memorization of 26 postures and 2 breathing excersize which all have to be spoken fluidly within 90 minutes to Bikram's satisfaction! So, what's the big deal right?!

I am so excited and anxious to go. I am hoping this experience will be life changing for me and that I will come out the other side of it, grateful for the opportunity, and with much more awareness physically, spiritually, and mentally.

Here is the link if anyone is interested in checking it out:
http://www.bikramyoga.com/

Namaste

The Power of Opinion

So, I have recently come to focus on just how much we -both as individuals and as a society- are influenced by the opinions of others. Especially those we love and respect, but certainly not limited soley to them. Complete strangers can just as easily influence us.

How many people do you think are out there that -first of all- know who they are and what they want out of life, and secondly are doing exactly what they want to do and getting what they want out life? I would wager the number is sadly, very low.

If only we could find it within ourselves to accept and love all of who we are and learn to love and embrace the differences in each other. Instead, so many of us spend our time in fear, trying to try to rid ourselves of the very things that make us unique. I don't know about you all, but it's getting pretty boring -not to mention suffocating- living in "Same Town, USA".

I believe the key must be truly knowing who we are first "warts AND beauty marks" and then accepting all of ourselves as spiritual beings and therefore good. It's only then that we can fully reach our potential and break the chains that have been built by countless opinion and projection from others (real or perceived).

So... for what it is worth and in my opinion, you are absolutely perfect, just the way you are. Express it.

Stanely Burroughs Master Cleanser

If you are interested in a detoxifying cleanse for your body then I recommend the "Master Cleanser" by Stanley Burroughs.

Some misdirected folks (in my opinion) have coined this "The Lemonade Diet" but according to Burroughs himself...THIS IS NOT A DIET. If your goal is to loose weight rapidly then there are many other "products" out there to accomplish this task.

The Master Cleanser is designed to detoxify the body. It consists of organic lemon juice, spring water, cayenne pepper and organic maple syrup.

The lemon juice acts as an astringent and gets into the joints of the body to clean up calcium deposits and "toxic build up" that has accumulated there. The cayenne pepper works to keep the body warm during the cleanse and to help keep the metabolism up. The maple syrup is the nutritional part, providing energy as well as essential vitamins and minerals.
This cleanse gives the liver and digestive system a much needed break and a fresh start as years of toxic build up are released from the intestines and colon.

Burroughs states in his book "The basic cause (of dis-ease) is the habits of improper diet, inadequate exercise, negative mental attitudes, and lack of spiritual attunement which combine to produce toxic conditions and malfunction of our bodies. The elimination of the cause of illness is the obvious and only way to healing and health".

I have done this cleanse for as long as 10 days and know people who have done 14 days, all with very positive results.

I am currently on day 3 of my 4th cleanse and while it can be VERY challenging it is also so rewarding.

To check out this book on line you can go to:

http://www.geocities.com/hotsprings/spa/7244/master_cleanse.html

Do you know you?

How many people out there actually can answer the question, "who are you?" or "tell me about yourself", in detail?

I have been talking with some women lately who are unaware of who they are, what they like, and why they do what they do. It seems this is a common condition in society. Many people simply look to someone else to define them. They will see some trait or characteristic in someone else that they admire or think is "acceptable" and try to emulate it. Even if the trait doesn't suit their naturally given personality.

I decided one day to write down all of the things I would do if I had no limitations. This was a good way to get started in finding out what I like to do and what interests I have. Then I wrote down a list of all the things I would do for myself, if I was trying to get me, to fall in love with myself. It was a very nurturing excersize. I actually have gone down the list and have done those things for myself and have treated myself the way I would want others to treat me.

Its funny but we overlook this I think.
We get caught up in treating others well, or doing for others but neglect ourselves or treat ourselves poorly. We can't be of service to anyone else if we don't understand and take care of ourselves....how will we ever know what we have to offer?

I believe that when we know who we are, we are honoring our Creator and are available to use each and every gift that has been given to us to help others.

So....Do you know who you are?

Questions... Answers?

1. Why is it so hard to achieve some goals and so easy to achieve others...? and why does the degree of difficulty vary from person to person?
It seems like there are some goals that I set -while they are difficult in concept- I simply just accept and achieve them; everything falls into place and there it is, done. Then there are others goals -seemingly more simple- that take all of my focus and energy to bring into being...

2. Why is it that some people just automatically lean toward positivity while others have tendencies to be more skeptical instinctually? Is it inate or learned?
I know people that have a positive response or "spin" on everything that they do or say...it is as natural as breathing to them. Then there is someone like me, I go to the negative side first and have to work my way to the positive...

3. If Love is at the center of everything and the strongest emotion...why does it seem to give way to fear so easily?
It seems like people are fighting to find love and express it and to get rid of their fears. Every respected spiritual person I've spoken to has the opinion that Love is stonger, and this is is also my opinion, however the initial response to things seems to be fear, both individually and collectively...

Anyone???

Temper Tantrum

I don't know about you, but I have been spending a lot of my time lately with the words "I want, what I want, when I want it" running through my head....

I know it sounds immature, but it is what it is.
I have been put in a number of situations recently, that have required me to delay instant gratification; and the emotions that are stirred because of it have been uncomfortable for me to feel. Even the positive emotions like, excitement, anticipation, joy etc... are difficult.

At first I didn't know that this was the problem, but as time has passed and I continued to avoid feeling the emotions as they came up, I found myself becoming more and more uncomfortable, inside and OUT!

The other day -while I was stewing about what I wanted and how I had to wait for it- I was also trying to find a way to console myself.... Unfortunately my references for doing this in the past haven't always been positive... but I don't drink or smoke anymore, and I really didn't want to deal with the consequences of finding a nice comforting dessert to eat...
So, I was just stewing. That was when the light bulb went off. (Now, I realize for some of you this next part would hardly be an epiphany. But that's exactly what it was for me...)

This thought went through my head, "I don't need comfort from anything external. I just need to let the emotion come up, feel it, have a little faith and let it go."

There's a novel idea right? Well, a good friend of mine has been telling me this for a while now...and I understood it intellectually. But it had to come from within me, as a solution, at exactly the right time, in order for me to actually FEEL it.

Well, that is what happened. So, thanks Kim, I am so grateful.

I will try to remember that feeling uncomfortable is a part of Life sometimes, that all of my emotions are God given, and that they will pass when I accept them.

This has been a great learning experience and has opened yet another door for me.

Change

The only constant thing in life is change.
Embrace it and allow Life's gifts to be provided to you. So many of us give up to fear just before the miracle happens...what if we pushed through it in faith? The times I've been able to manage it, the outcome has been far more positive than I could have ever imagined.

C: courage
H: hope
A: acceptance
N: NOW
G: god
E: eternal

God's got mad skills

Things have been crazy for me the past couple of months...I've felt like there was so much going on I didn't know what to write...but, after reading my friend's blogspot (kimberlykingsley.com), I was inspired.

Kim was talking about manifestation... this got me thinking about what is happening in my life and how it is all "panning" out. The things that are happeining are a direct result of my desire to manifest them. I have been very aware of what I have been "putting out there" this past year...careful not to be too specific and to go with the flow in faith, that what comes in will be better than I could imagine. And so that has been the case. What has come in is better than I could have ever imagined it to be.

Kim's blog was a wake up call for me though because I was "slipping" back into fear a little bit. I was starting to entertain -in very specific detail- how I wanted things to go in my life. Thankfully, I am aware of it now and can slow down, recapture my faith and let God work it all out in spectacular detail. He is afterall, the one with the mad creation skills :)
All I am going to do is the next thing in front of me and try to tune in to that internal source of direction.

Thanks Kim! And God Bless.

Drama Mama

The world loves a little (or a lot) of drama doesn't it? We are bombarded with pressure to come up with it for all kinds of reasons...money, fame, attention, pity, even love....

I find that I am less comfortable contributing to the drama of life these days, but sometimes I like the distraction it presents for me from whatever I need to take a look at within myself.
I need the distractions some days because I can get afraid of what is happening in my life and can let my faith in future fade...

I have a new goal...to remember that faith and fear are both action words and these are two sides of the same coin. I get to choose on a daily basis which one I will spend on whatever comes up. If I buy into fear I get drama. If I buy into faith I get peace.

Why do the simplest concepts seems the most difficult to apply?

...more will be revealed...

There is a saying in one of the circles I run in that, "...more will be revealed..."

This life has been such a journey for me so far. A lot of disregarded selfishness, ego-centricity, ego deflation, pride, humility, sorrows, and joys...

I arrived at a day in my life about 6 years ago which brought into my awareness that I desperately needed things to change in me and in my life. Since that day I've been working hard to develop the most joyful life possible.

I used to be anxious to "arrive" or "get there", but so far, there doesn't seem to be a destination in sight. Thank God. I understand now, this will be a continuous process and I will be working at it for the rest of my life.

At first that didn't seem fair to me...but what I didn't understand was, I would continue to progress toward my goal each day. And the amount of joyfulness that I would feel would be increased both in intensity and duration. As an added bonus, just when I start to think I've got it all figured out and am comfortable with things, that is when the "more will be revealed" part comes in... it usually involves some work on my part to face something that I hadn't been ready to face yet, but it brings with it the opportunity to take this life to the next level and possibly learn to live and vibrate there.

Unconscious Expression

Dreams have always fascinated me and I have been blessed with ability to use my dreams to help me process things that are difficult to go through while I am awake.

Last night was a particularly helpful dream. I was who I am today, observing who I was "back in the day"...it was like watching a movie of my past. I found it super interesting and it helped me to put some things about myself into a new perspective. I imagine it was kind of like how a parent might feel watching their child but not being able to intervene... At any rate I gained a new understanding of myself and I am grateful for that. I hope it continues.

Sweet dreams :)

An Open Heart

Have you ever felt as though your heart is opening up?

Many of us -due to past hurt or loss- have closed off our hearts to love and let fear guide our interactions with people. While justified by the world and many of the people in it...it is in my opinion that this closing off, is a very tragic disconnect from our highest self.

I am just now starting to understand love's full potential and the power that it carries. While romantic love can be part of it, what I really mean is Love in general.

I personally have put up many barriers around my heart without even being aware of it. I became aware when I started to value myself and who I am, when I started to see the value in other people, and when I started to have the desire to share who I am with other human beings.

I have barely tapped the surface, I am sure, of Love's potential...but I can honestly say, that I am overwhelmed and in awe of what I am capable of feeling today. I have an immense amount of gratitude for the people that have been placed in my life to guide me and counsel me. It would have been much, much, slower going without them.

Open your heart. All you have to loose is the nothing you feel.

At the End

Someone said to me the other day "thank God we don't have to take with us, what we are left with when we die." She was referring to her body...

That struck me really hard. What if we did have to take what we were left with at the end? Would we change what we are doing to our bodies now?

I actually felt a lot of sadness when I heard this statement. I know many people feel like they can't wait to give up the body they are in and get a new one. Hence the overwhelming response to plastic surgery and the outstanding number of people with eating disorders...

What about the people with actual physical handicaps? Don't they seem like the ones that are trying to take the best care of themselves and the ones who are the most grateful for what their bodies can do?

I have been on both sides of the fence. In the past I have literally hated my body, but today, thankfully, I am learning to love all of me. I am so grateful that I have come into this place of awareness, and am able to understand what a gift it is to have a functioning, healthy body, free of disease and physical limitations.

At the end, I hope I will still be in a place of gratitude for all my body has done for me. After all, it carries my most precious possession...my soul.

GR"ATITUDE"

In the past I've talked about how I think that the difficult parts of life are simply opportunities to practice "getting better" at doing what we think is so hard...

Well, I recently have come into a place in my life where I feel good about most things. I don't feel like I have to worry about much, -which by the way I am so grateful for- and I feel like I can truly say that most days I like myself and I feel good about the life I am living.

But just when I am rolling along, feeling pretty good about things, along comes some old negative thinking pattern that -if I let it- can discredit all of my past efforts and bring me right back to square one.

In times like these, and as soon as I am aware of what is happening, I need to turn my attention to God and to remember that He does for me what I cannot do for myself. The most important thing for me to do is remember where I have been in contrast to where I am. This reminds me that I haven't been brought this far in life -through all of the things I've been through- to be abandoned now.

Today I know my happiness is a cooperative effort between me and my Higher Power and to the extent that I rely and trust in the process, is the extent that I will find the happiness I used to think was so elusive.

All in all, it comes down to simply remembering to stay grateful for all the gifts I have in my life. If I can remember to be grateful, it's nearly impossible to get dragged down by the BS.

What if?

What if...who would have thought that these two little words could be so powerful?
Powerful enough to take over a life? Yes, I think so.

When we let them, they can cause fear and anxiety, guilt and apprehension, even happiness and excitement...as a matter of fact, these two little words -when given the power- can create any emotion in us.

It seems to me, it all comes back to staying in the present moment and just going with the flow within each moment. All we really have is right now anyway right?
So I think, making a decision based on how we feel about the situation right NOW is the way to go. If our feelings change then we can always change our situation.

But we can pretty much be guarranteed, that if we don't live in the now and let go of the "what ifs", we will get stuck and will not be able to experience all of the wonderful things that this life has to offer.
So for me, it's goodbye to the what ifs and hello right now.

Who Knew?

I have been to Rocky Pointe Mexico more times than I can count. Most times, I would spend my time on the beach or tooling around on quads, but this time I went out to a little island just southwest of Rocky Pointe. It's about 45 minutes away by speed boat and its called Bird Island.

The boat ride in itself was an adventure for me! It seemed crazy to be in a boat so small, going that fast, on the open ocean. And more than once the whole front end of the boat was up in the air. Talk about a practice in having faith!!

The experience once we got out to the island was definately worth the boat ride though. The island is literally covered with sealions, in all sizes. There were huge bulls all the way down to little babies.

As we approached the island in the boat, the younger sealions all got in the water . They were everywhere, swimming in little packs. They would all stop at once to pop there heads up and stare at us. They looked so curious. I swear they were collecting information. Then they would all go under at the same time. Shaun and I joked about what they were possibly saying to each other under the water about what they saw... :)

Once we anchored in, we put on our snorkel gear and actually got in the water with them! It was amazing. They would come right up to us doing their acrobatics all around us. Sometimes they would stop right in front of us, literally inches from our faces, then turn and take off swimming again! They really seemed to be okay with us and to be having a good time. I know I was!

A few times we would get caught up in what we were doing and get a little too close to shore. One of the big bulls would start barking and head toward the water, so we'd swim back out. We certainly didn't want to get him too upset with us!! That was a little rushy!

I have to say it was an awesome experience and I definately recommend doing it if you are in Rocky Pointe. But I would feel bad if I didn't give this little side note....

Almost everyone who knows me, knows I am a shark lover. And while I love sharks, I definately DO NOT want to be in open water with them, unprotected. So to jump in the ocean with their favorite snack was pretty crazy on our part. Mexico is not a hot spot for Great Whites and I've never heard of an attack out there...but it never hurts to know what's possibly in the water!!

Regardless, I'd do it again. In a heartbeat!

A Walking Contradiction

Someone very close to me made the statement today that I am a walking contradiction...
At first my reaction was defensive and my feelings were hurt. I wanted to get lost in the anger and frustration of the comment and take it out on the person who said it.

I started to do this but then I remembered something I read a little while ago in "The Darkside fo the Light Chasers" by Debbie Ford. She said something like this...If my reaction to what is being said about me is intense, look to see if there may be some truth in what is being said; and to the degree I react to it, may be the degree that I am denying its there.

Turns out she was right. There are some things in my life that I would like to tell myself that I have under control or a greater understanding of, than I do.

This experience has brought to my awareness the idea that it takes hearing and really listening to the ones we love to get through some of the illusions we try to present to ourselves.
I don't know yet specifically what new understanding will come of this, but I am sure more will be revealed and I am truly grateful that -while it was a little bit of a struggle- I was able to open my mind up enough to the opportunity to understand myself a little better and change if needed.

So to this friend of mine, I want to say thank you for helping me to understand myself a little better and for your patient understanding.

Accentuate the Positive

Up until this past year, I had always considered myself a little on the "glass is half empty" side of things. A little skeptical...a little morose...
I really wanted to be a more optimistic person but was sure I just "wasn't the type".
At that time in my life pain was a great motivator for me. When things got bad enough and the pain of being so negative got great enough, I decided to try to change my perspective.

So, I started surrounding myself with people who were more "the glass is half full" types...if you're lucky, you know the ones I mean...kind, humble, positive, considerate, and generally happy with themselves and their lives? Ya, they were the people who had what I wanted out of life. So I've been trying to learn what I can from them and then practice doing the things that will bring me happiness.

I also have been learning to dismiss the negativity in my head, literally. I had to learn that all of that "old crap" that I try to tell myself is just that, crap. It is totally irrelevant because each new experience if different. So, I try to treat those thoughts as background noise or static if you will.

Since I have been practicing this new kind of thinking it has taught me that I can re-program my own thoughts and choose to be who I want to be regardless of who I think I am.

So today, at least for me, it means I need to accentuate the positive in each situation and give as little attention as possible to the self defeating thoughts that come to mind .

Blissed Out?

My good friend and engergy coach Kimberly Kingsley likes to use the term "blissed out". She and I having been working together for some time and I have been releasing blocks and growing substantially, at a very rapid pace -although at times it hasn't felt that way. And as a result of all of this work I feel as though I may have recently come into this state of being "blissed out".

I imagine this is what it feels like to be free. Free of anything blocking me from the inside out....I have been feeling very electric on an internal level. Vibrating at such a level that I can actually feel it.

I have felt what some call "the pink cloud" before but somehow this feels different. It is as though I have reintegrated a part of myself that has been lost for a lot of years and now I am free to be me again....

Totally Magic

I have never been so pleasantly surprised by anything in my life...and I had an awakening of sorts this weekend.

This weekend someone I haven't seen or spoken to in sixteen years came to visit me. We have a very colorful past and lots of significant events have happened to shape our lives as a result of our past relationship.

I knew it would not be easy to see this person, but felt like it needed to be done anyway. So...I did the best I could to stay open, honest and willing to have this experience. I am so glad I did.

What I expected to happen didn't come to fruition and I couldn't have imagined what did happen if I had tried to. I was completely surprised and so grateful to be able to stay in the moment. I felt present and willing to hear what was being said and see what was being done without any preconceived notions getting in my way. I felt the full spectrum of emotions as old information was expressed and released, and while it was very draining at times, it was also extremely fulfilling.

This experience has opened my eyes to who I was, what I have lost, and what I have gained. It has given me hope for the future, increased my faith, and opened my heart.

And once again this confirms for me that the only way out of fear is to walk straight though it.

Let It Flow

There are so many changes going on in my life that I can hardly keep up. I am feeling overwhelmed and excited, exhausted and energized, all at the same time! Its difficult to even know where to begin to express all that is happening. All of these changes are ones I want and am willing to make, and while it is scary and there are some unknowns, I really feel like its a good thing to be changing. It means growth is happening.

It's also a practice in faith for me. To let go and know that what I can't see will be provided, and if I pay attention to what my gut tells me and act accordingly, the outcome will be well worth any struggle involved.

In situations like this, in order to stay focused and easy going, I believe instant gratification must be put on the back burner. This is important because the more I go with the flow of things the more life flows freely and effortlessly.

So...I have to remind myself, that any frustration or impatience I feel is a direct reflection of my state of mind as it relates to change, and peace within the chaos is only one decision away.

A Life/Engery Mentor

Over the past 5 years, I have been learning a lot about emotion, expression and life in general through the teachings and understanding of Kimberly Kingsley. Kimberly has written a couple of books in reference to these things and is a life/energy coach. She has tremendous insight and wisdom, and is a beautiful soul.

If you enjoy some of the writtings on this blogspot, I would encourage you to visit hers. She has provoked much of what I have been talking about here...

http://www.kimberlykingsley.com/

Developing your Practice

I am learning to play the piano right now and I got to thinking about how being present for life is a lot like learning the piano. I have to practice if I want to get better at it.

I think life provides us many opportunities to practice what we need to learn. For instance, have you ever noticed it when you are trying to change a certain behavior, that you keep getting that behavior shoved in your face?
I believe that this is life's way of helping us out by giving us the opportunity -sometimes over and over again- to practice doing something different.

The word practice itself implies that we haven't mastered something.

And, I don't know about you but life must be a practice because I don't know anyone who has it completely mastered...

I truly believe I am here to learn how to love. Love myself and others. To stay open for the opportunity to have wonderful relationships with people but to honor myself and who I am in the process. What a gift to have this realization and to actually be practicing.

Slow down Mr. Jones

I was driving home from the gym this morning, watching the traffic and listening to the radio, when I had one of those moments...

I realized just how precious this gift of life is. I have heard that a thousand times and sort of scoffed or dismissed mostly. But today for some reason I got to thinking about just how short this little lifetime is, and how -if I am not careful- I will completely miss it.

I don't want to spend the years I have here running as fast as I can after one thing or the next. Or worse yet, telling myself I'll relax and enjoy life after I (insert accomplishment here)...

No one really knows what we are doing here or what happens once its over but there is so much magic in the interaction with people and the earth that it seems like a waste to focus my attention on how to keep up with Mr. & Mrs. Jones.

Sistah Blue

A group of us went to the Rhythm Room last night to listen to a band called Sistah Blue. They are a phenomenal, all woman, Blues band. The band consists of five woman all entering the autumn of their lives, but seemingly decades younger than they are.... There energy is infectious!

The most impressive sight there though, was Miss Betty. An eighty-eight year old, beautiful little woman. She was dressed to the nines and out on the dance floor "gettin her groove on" with the rest of us! Betty is slightly bent over and dances 1/2 time to the beat...but the smile on her face never left as her hips shook and shimmied to Sistah Blue! By midnight I was tuckered out, but Miss Betty was still out there, shakin' her thang!!

If I am around at eighty-eight, I hope that I am still living life to the extent that Miss Betty is.
You go girl! You are a true inspiration!

I love you...Potentially.

I asked a dear friend of mine "How do you know when you have tried all you can in a relationship?" and he said to me "You know a relationship is over when...nothing the other person could change about themselves would make you want to stay in the relationship."

I wonder how many of us tend to fall in love with a person's potential instead of the actual person. How often do we just overlook this and that, hoping that one day the person we are with, will miraculously become the person we actually want to be with?

To avoid falling into this trap I believe it's important to keep our hearts open so that we can see clearly, but to delay instant gratification when necessary. Have you ever heard of the saying "Good things come to those who wait"? I think it applies here and I am hoping it's true.

Besides, I wouldn't want to try to turn someone into something they are not, and delay their joy in expressing who they truly are.

A four letter word

Love.
I can think of a number of famous four letter words but this one seems to be at the top of everyone's list and in the middle of everything. We are forever trying to find it, avoid it, contain it, teach it, sell it, buy it, on and on and on...
We look everywhere for it, although we might not know we are looking. And many of us are unable to recognize it even when it is right in front of us.

The problem is not Love itself but our definition of it. Many of us have heard 1 Corinthians 13:4 at sometime or other. Whether is was at a friends wedding (or maybe your own), a funeral, a church service...we hear the words but who ever really tries to understand them? After all it is coming out of the bible! That in itself can cause enough fear for dismissal.

I really like the words though, it gives me a good starting place for a little four letter word that I believe, is literally indescribable when truly felt. Here are some of the words...

Love is: Patient, kind, doesn't envy, doesn't boast, isn't rude, isn't self seeking, isn't easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs, it delights in truth, always protects, always perseveres, and never fails.

It's kind of like a road map...if your lost and you don't know whether or not it's love, then look at the words and see if any of them are there. The more there are, the more it is.

Gentle Guidance

I know many people who pray. Pray for strength, direction, freedom from this or that, etc.
And I have been witness to many answered prayers.

For the longest time I didn't pray. I figured I had "sinned" my way right out of heaven a long time ago, so what was the use. But I found myself at a point in my life where prayer was actually necessary for my survival. I had to re-think my stance on this. I had no other choice. I needed help and I couldn't get it from myself or any other person. God knows I tried.

It's funny too, because I began to pray very simple prayers at first. Then I started to pray more specifically when I found that my prayers were being answered. Today I still pray specifically, but I also pray that whatever I need to learn or whatever needs to be removed from my life (or allowed in for that matter) happens gently and effortlessly.

This is important. Today I believe that changing or growing (in Answer to prayer) doesn't necessarily have to be painful. So often things have to get terribly painful before we will accept (on faith) that change will be good. I'm beginning to realize that Joy can also be a Great Motivator. Its what motivates children to be so fearless. I have to remember how I felt as a child before cynicism and distrust moved in to replace optimism and hope.

May you realize your hearts desires gently and effortlessly, just knowing that there is Joy behind it.

Just once, again and again.

Addictions have been part of my life for as long as I can remember, but it wasn't until the last several years that I have been aware of them and working to overcome them. And while I don't have any formal training on addiction, I do have years of study and first hand experience.

Whether it be drinking, drugs, smoking, food, or the opposite sex (I could go on....) addictions are very real and they can overtake us. I have found the most effective way (so far) to "overcome" them is to stop thinking and just do. Do what you need to in order to achieve the goal, and do it just once.

For instance, if you ate a salad at the next meal and this caused you to be at your goal weight... wouldn't you eat the salad? If you skipped that glass of wine at dinner and you never felt that compulsion to finish the whole bottle again...wouldn't you skip it? If you skipped that cigarette after dinner just once and became a non-smoker...wouldn't that be worth it?

All of these "just once's" add up to a lifetime of forming new habits. New habits that are free of addiction. If you think about it, all we have is the moment we are in anyway. So, if we use this train of thought to do the next right action, in that moment, eventually we become who we desire to be. Simply from a string of right decisions moment to moment.

The key is not to allow yourselves to think about anything other than what the action is going to be now. Not what you did a minute ago or what you may do a minute from now. Disregard those thoughts and bring your attention to doing what is next in order to reach the goal. If you choose something other than what is helpful to you, that's okay. Dust yourself off and try again. A new moment has just arrived!

And if you have faith, ask for strength. If you don't, you may want to consider that since you didn't create the world outside of yourself (or inside yourself for that matter) that there just might be some thing/force/energy/spirit/god....out there that did. And that is really all the faith you need.

What doesn't kill you...

I've heard that Life has many layers of understanding. I've recently had some experiences that have validated this statement for me.

I know at times it seems as though things just can't get any worse. Whether it be physically, emotionally or spiritually... and a lot of us get to the point where we are sick of hearing ourselves talk and think about certain subjects simply because it doesn't feel like we are making any progress.

All I have to say is, keep pushing through whatever you are working on. Keep trying. Even when it seems like you are going backwards. You are not. Eventually you will break through it and on the other side is a whole new level existence.

As they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

Starving the Ego

Ah, the human ego...our nemesis.

It's funny because our ego tries to tell us we are better than or convince us that we are less than...whoever or whatever we want to be, have or do. This I believe, is to distract us from the moment. It needs us to be distracted, because if we don't "feed" it, the ego dies.

It's okay though, if the ego dies. It's actually a good thing. We are free then to look at what is happening right in front of us and focus our intention on our reactions to it. This allows God or Spirit or whatever you want to label it, to step in. Positive energy is no longer blocked by the distractions of the ego and free to provide everything that is needed in that moment.

On letting go...

What would it be like if we only focused only on what we can control? To come to an understanding that we can plan and design and create, but to understand that we don't have any control over how things will actually turn out.

I know for me, it's a peaceful feeling when I can let go of things that come up that aren't "in my plan" and just go with the flow. I just make a new plan. From the smallest little thing, to long term goals. I look at it as part of life and remember that life is bigger than me.

It's definitely a process. And like most great things in life...the more I grasp this concept, the more I understand that internal peacefulness has many different layers. I know that I have only scratched the surface. The great thing about that is, I also know that I am the only one who will stand in my way, so I can simply just choose to get out of it. The more I do that the better life is.

Childlike

So many of us, as we grow up, loose our childlike-ness. We get busy with grown up things like mortgages, bills, work, raising children, etc. That's the way it works. We are encouraged to use logic and reason instead of our imagination and creativeness.

I know that I have often wonder to myself "what's it all for" and "why are we here"...these are big and overwhelming questions that can cause a person to get lost in thought and even feel a little crazy after a while. And what I've come up with isn't all that profound. I know Love is at the basis of it all and after that I don't know...

But what I do know is, that while I am here I don't want to be so caught up in trying to figure it out that I loose this short precious gift I've been given. So, I'm seeking the midset of a child. Creative and playful. Flexible and excited about what was going to happen next. Interested in how each person and situation I have to meet is different and interesting...

Sure there has to be a balance and not all of us can go goofing around all day. But I want to enjoy my life and so for me, being grateful, expecting good things to come in, and keeping it simple by staying in the moment keep me from being too "grown up" and allow the child in me to come out and play.

Have a great day! Go out and play!

Full Circle

It's funny how quickly I can look at things in my life that "I have accomplished" and get all ego-inflated. This leads to taking what I have for granted and eventually focusing only on what I don't have. I forget all that I went through to get where I am.

The truth of the matter is that it has been a cooperative effort. I just do the next thing in front of me and God takes care of the outcome. Which by the way has been phenominal each time I have entrusted it to Him.

But how easily I forget and become self righteous. Demanding more and searching for answers as to why He's no longer listening to me... Oh, He's listening. I'm just no longer cooperating. Meaning, I'm not doing the next thing anymore. I'm whining about all I have done and not wanting to do anymore...but still wanting Him to give me what I want. I even say please...Ya, please just drop it in my lap.

It doesn't work that way. So the answer is to stop thinking and talking, and start doing again.

All by our one-zies

**WARNING THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS CYNICISM AND SARCASM**IF YOU'RE FEELING THIN SKINNED TODAY...SKIP THIS ONE.

That's it really. All we really have in this world is ourselves. We better get busy taking care of what we have. No one else is going to do it.

How many selfless people do you know? They are rare...that's why they call them "saints".
If you're offended by that, please don't be. It's a tall order in today's society to do something for other people absolutely free of charge. No one faults people for being selfish now-a-days. As a matter of fact it's a fascinating new and growing trend...

It's called "personal expression" and "individuality". If you don't like something...it's okay, just go off and do your own thing...you won't be missed. Look at technology...pretty soon we won't even need to interact with "real" people at all, everything will be automated. Well, just as soon as they figure out virtual procreation...

I love my job and helping people and I can't believe I'm the only saint out there!? But just in case, at the end of the day, I hope I remembered to take care of myself first...because I'm beginning to realize that if I need something -whether it be physically or emotionally- I'm going to have to get it myself.

Powerlessness

Imagine you are on an airplane way up in the sky...you are all alone on that airplane. You look out the window and see the thing you love the most sitting on the outside of the airplane, in a place out of the wind, but one wrong move and it's lost forever....what do you do?
Ya...that sums it up.